Also:
- It's Saturday Night
- 2. An autograph before you go
- 3. A new kind of game show
- 4. A rising exasperation with the quantity of dirt
- 5. The whole thing suddenly fell apart
- 6. Synthetic propensity
- 7. It was destined to be an anti-climax
- 8. This is your show now
- 9. The awesome scale of our wastefulness
- 10. Hands up those who couldn't care less
- 11. Together We’ll Be Ok
- 12. Decide the shape of ITV in the 1980s
- 13. Alan is too commercial
- 14. It worked like a dream
- 15. Older men, doing school boy tricks
- 16. Killing the Golden Goose
- 17. People love us to be sexy
- 18. The manure is worth more than the cattle
- 19. They were big in the States and we noted that
- 20. I’m still aggressive and I’m still handing out the insults
- 21. A new style of lunatic humour
- 22. The Habitat-bean-bag-hessian-wallpaper brigade
- 23. Thoroughly sinful
- 24. All carrots should be scraped, sliced and cooked
- 25. Back then it was radical stuff
- 26. Whatever they do, we can do it better
- 27. You'll have to take us as you find us
- 28. Entertainment that keeps on the move
- 29. It's the public that has to pay
- 30. The last we saw of either of them was their sad faces
- 31. Just shoot the bastard
- 32. Britain could clearly be facing its darkest hour
- 33. Any enthusiasm we may have had for continuing discussions is waning
- 34. It was considered by LWT and then put in a bottom drawer
- 35. Watch the redoubtable Terry take off
- 36. I thought it might be terrible and I wouldn’t enjoy it at all
- 37. Kamikaze Mastermind
- 38. We haven’t moved into luxury
- 39. We are investing in people
- 40. Delivered impeccably
- 41. He has to allow you to do your bit
- 42. All the anticipation of the great emotive point
- 43. If you want Russ Abbot to do it, then you have to accept me and my ideas
- 44. Let’s get straight into this
- 45. Unedifying Greed
- 46. We’ve got the fucking lot!
- 47. Scope for humour and danger
- 48. Pure Megablast
- 49. There’s lots of killing, but not much else
- 50. I wanted to make sure it was going to be disastrous
- 51. Oh dear – Auntie’s playing bingo!
- 52. A Shrivelled Little Thing
- 53. I shouldn’t have accepted it
- 54. We would be the spoilsports
- 55. The Most Sexless Person In Television
- 56. They’d have strung me up if I hadn’t chosen him
- 57. Is there some way to play with the internal constituent parts?
- 58. The most important entertainment programme of my time
- 59. The plumply pretty female duo
- 60. The audience just sort of started to freeze on him
- 61. More pilots than British Airways
- 62. There's going to come a time when you'll have to go to the BBC
- 63. A slightly pretentious manifesto
- 64. Things Look Very Precarious
- 65. It’s no good doing all the same old people all the time
- 66. That’s just not funny Bobby, it's corny - just don’t do that
- 67. Well bottom’s not funny
- 68. We Are The Funnymen
- 69. The powers that be listened to Denis
- 70. Stretchers never go up stairs
- 71. I was in obscurity until this series
- 72. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me
- 73. There’s such a passion for nostalgia right now
- 74. I Heard A Seat In The Stalls Go ‘Gerdonk!'
- 75. This is your show, folks, and I do mean you
- 76. There’s good news for perplexed fans of 3-2-1!
- 77. Taking on Blind Date would be a real challenge
- 78. You wanna bet on it?
- 79. The yarns worked their tried and tested magic
- 80. The Charge-And-Shout Brigade
- 81. I sat for a moment in silence, then turned in my chair and left the stage
- 82. We just weren't allowed into UK terrestrial television
- 83. Beadle’s A Prick
- 84. The interviewer always has to know when it's best to keep his or her mouth shut
- 85. Can you come up with a good solution for the Murder Weekend mystery?
- 86. He's not a goody- goody hero
- 87. The Sexism, The Dolly Birds, The Catchphrases
- 88. The feel of Saturday night
- 89. 1990 Who would employ an ex-alky with lowered self-esteem
- 90. It were a right smack in the face
- 91. Look Straight Into My Eyes And Everything Will Be Alright, That's A Promise
- 92. That's the last thing I was expecting, Jim
- 93. The characters and situations are real
- 94. Oh Man, There Go All My Women Fans
- 95. A Double Order of Talent
- 96. If there is an air of spontaneity about it, it’ll be genuine
- 97. NTV brings you ... empty rooms!
- 98. You’re BBC, you shouldn’t be here
- 99. If this doesn’t work out, we’re both snookered!
- 100. The humour of Beadle comes through humiliating people!
- 101. To allow such bilge on TV is an insult to the audience
- 102. Like a cup of cold sick
- 103. A litre of gin, ecstasy and crack cocaine
- 104. A reliable tent pole for Saturday evenings
- 105. It is in the cutlery drawer
- 106. Welcome to the new Saturday night
- 107. Congratulations, you have got the fucking Gen Game
- 108. The programme has done extremely badly and will be dropped after this series
- 109. Building the excitement and tension to a crescendo
- 110. He gives us our spirit of unity; we’d all like to strangle him
- 111. The worst programme currently on terrestrial television
- 112. I award the city state of Milton Keynes 100 credits!
- 113. There’s nothing that makes people scream, ‘Did you see that?’
- 114. It was of a standard frankly well below what the public would want
- 115. Waxing An Ape Is My Ambition
- 116. Don’t Get Mad, Get Even
- 117. The penalty shoot-out is the greatest ever endgame
- 118. 200 black boxes are strapped to the back of a cross-section of the nation
- 119. Better For You, Better For All Of Us
- 120. I mean who on earth thought that was a good idea?
- 121. I’m sure the tune was in there somewhere
- 122. This Time, You Decide
- 123. King of trash, that’s me
- 124. It’s about rejection now
- 125. They lost what Popstars was all about
- 126. Win the ads
- 127. A name in search of a series
- 128. Getting grief from the papers
- 129. I’m so pleased to be back on television
- 130. Saturday nights haven't been this interesting for 10 years
- 131. It’s the Usual Nonsense
- 132. The trip of a lifetime
- Epilogue: Why Haven't You Written a Series of Articles on Tuesday Night Telly?
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It’ll Be Alright on the Night producer Paul Smith took the decision to introduce the format to American television, and while in the United States was able to lay his hands on a wealth of footage for the “farewell” Christmas show. “We have tapped a very rich vein,” he reported. Nonetheless the production team still ended up sitting through hours and hours of clips in search of suitable material. “I suppose the ratio of what we see to what we use is around 500 to 1”. The Christmas It’ll Be Alright on the Night pulled in a sizeable audience – large enough to persuade Norden that the venture was worth sticking with for a little longer. Subsequent editions were broadcast on a rough two-yearly basis thereafter and the programme has gone on to become one of LWT’s most consistent ratings performers. The 1985 edition captured 18.6 million viewers becoming LWT’s highest rated programme of the station’s first 20 years. The 1987 Christmas edition pulled in 18 million viewers, making that programme, LWT’s sixth most watched of its first two decades.
In the main, press reaction to It’ll Be Alright on the Night was surprisingly uncritical. Had it been fronted by a personality with qualities more closely associated with Saturday evening light entertainment, then the whole enterprise might have been perceived as an extremely dubious product, typical of the “down market” direction of LWT during the early and mid 1980s. As a result of the success of It’ll Be Alright on the Night, Norden’s affinity with archive television was unleashed and he subsequently hosted a number of “clipboard” shows for LWT, including Denis Norden’s World Of Television, In On The Act, Pick Of The Pilots and Denis Norden’s Laughter File.
The concept of It’ll Be Alright on the Night, although not in itself original (its two most obvious antecedents are the American series Bloopers and the Christmas collections of gaffes long since compiled for personal entertainment by editing room staff at TV organisations such as the BBC and Yorkshire Television), spawned a number of imitators. Noel Edmonds adapted the formula for his own 1982 Saturday night series, The Late Late Breakfast Show, using the conceit of awarding a “Golden Egg” to the week’s most entertaining blooper as a way in which to thread together a number of out-takes. “We were right at the very beginning of what’s now known as bloopers,” is how Edmonds remembers it. “They were big in the States and we noted that.” This take on the Norden formula proved so successful that a spin-off programme, The Golden Egg Awards, was commissioned. As if to support Norden’s own belief that the general public bestowed greater affection on those celebrities that were shown to be most fallible, The Golden Egg Awards turned the winner of the most awards – Murray Walker – into a household name.
More substantially, in 1991 the BBC produced the first in a long line of outtake programmes called Auntie’s Bloomers. Much like It’ll Be Alright on the Night, these were produced as specials only, with a similarly mature presenter (Terry Wogan) picked to link the footage. Derided at the time for its lack of originality, Auntie’s Bloomers nevertheless repeated the ratings success of its ITV counterpart (with a 1992 Christmas special attracting 18.5 million viewers, and the 1994 outing attaining a still impressive 17.9 million). Less successful has been the two station’s sports based spin-offs. Auntie’s Sporting Bloomers was, unlike its parent show, or its obvious forebear, produced as a series of 30-minute episodes, and ITV’s own Oddballs (made for Carlton by Trans World International and presented by Eamonn Holmes) were never able to attract as sizeable an audience. Nonetheless, both programmes still represented excellent value for money in terms of production cost versus ratings.
“We had created the original, the Rolls Royce, the Beatles, whatever you want, everything else were just pale imitations,” says Smith. “So I wasn’t concerned at all and after all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In an extraordinary punctuation, the BBC eventually decided that maybe they should be doing their own version and Jim Moir, who was the head of entertainment at the BBC at the time called me at Celador and said, would we be interested in producing Auntie’s Bloomers for the BBC, because we understood the concept and how to apply it. And we said, ‘Yes of course’ The title, Auntie’s Bloomers,was created by Denis Norden, when we were shooting It’ll Be Alright on the Night. We paid him for the right to use it.”
Auntie's Bloomers, Auntie's Sporting Bloomers, Denis Norden, Eamonn Holmes, Frontpage!, It's Be Alright on the Night, It's Saturday Night, Jim Moir, Noel Edmonds, Oddballs, Paul Smith, Terry Wogan, The Golden Egg Awards, The Late Late Breakfast Show