"YOUR WEDNESDAY night entertainment on BBC2 continues at 9pm with another helping of..."
"RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON will be in my dreams tonight!"
PROBABLY SHOWN in every school in the country at some point during the mid-80s.
NO-SHAGS-BARRED MELODRAMA of a Scots builder.
SAN FRANCISCO chief of police decides to do "things my own way" and employ the missus as sidekick.
In that blessed era that we're forced to refer to as The LateSeventiesToTheEarlyEighties, there was one disease that met all your tabloid...
IN THE words of KENNETH WILLIAMS: "It's MATTHEW KELLY isn't it?! Game for a laugh!"
ONCE MORE unto the Grade.
IMPENETRABLE MELODRAMA out of the same school as 1983's THE WATERFALL
CHIPPER CHICANERY from north of the border
JULIA MACKENSIE, playing herself, is a divorced teacher living next door to IRENE HANDL, also playing herself. Neither can leave well alone.
EARLY SHOT as cut-out cartoonery from the MR BENN mob
ANTIPODEAN ANTIQUE no doubt burnt/drowned/disintegrated long ago
ALI BONGO anchored this kids magicarama "aided and abetted" by hopeless puppet cat in a fez, Ali Cat
UNLIKELY ENTRY in the 1980s parade of home computer shows
FINEST FRENCH export since Pasteurisation.
ABOUT TIME for another crappy effort from Will H and Joe B, this time starring the eponymous ape and his short moustachioed...
TWO POST-RONNIES roustabouts for BARKER of middling spectacle (ho ho).
"THE SHIRTS to watch," boasted the endless ITV trailers.
BLUE-PETER-BEATING ITV kids' magazine
A WELCOME re-appearance for LORD FRED HARRIS
LOUSY TEATIME tripe marshalled into mithersome existence by BERNIE WINTERS
LONGEST-RUNNING AND most imperial of all the Beeb's home computer shows
OLDE ENGLISH cobblers from another Catherine Cookson bodiceboiler
NEITHER AGE nor any number of middling Martin Clunes-based rehashes shall wither the legend of Robin Tripp
UNREMITTINGLY GRIM this-is-real-life-so-you-better-get-used-to-it strand
DAVID NIVEN. Of course.
MORE FUTURISTIC folly, this time involving space rebel types hooking up with present day kids and, well, transplanting their dying leader's mind...
"DO NOT follow me. I am going to the main airlock."
ARCH CAMPERY of a non-Connery kind
CERTAINLY WERE a hell of a lot of these "Men" about in the old days.
ROISTERING RESISTANCE tales from World War Two France
WAS THERE no beginning to Glen's talents?
FROM THE pen of ROY CLARKE, therefore old people doing demented things while shouting a lot and rearranging the china well to...
DOPEY OLD buffer forgets where he's left his spouses and gets hitched not once, not twice, not thrice, but six times.
TWITTERING TWOSOME raise havoc in a decorous 1920s village populated with the likes of NIGEL HAWTHORNE.
T-REX MAINMAN hosts glamstravaganza
JAPANESE CARTOONERY featuring the eponymous unnamed briny-basher battling deadly "foes"
MISBEGOTTEN HOTCH-POTCH of 70s production values and 50s plotlines
PUPIL-POPPING PARADE of slapstick and speeded-up shenanigans
DO YOU live in a town?
MOST EXPENSIVE TV film ever, apparently.
HEAVENS, IT'S been all of, what, 11 entries since we last mentioned Glen?
NOTHING TO do with DR WHO's laughing cavalier turned lamentable klutz.
THAT FAMOUS theme tune was called "Impending Menace"
UPMARKET RIDDLE-ME-REE business doled out in weekly 45 minute doses.
ONCE A Saturday night-only appointment, now a franchise seemingly wheeled out at any time of the day (it's World Cup Grandstand, dammit!).
MASTERTEAM, but done like a tennis match.
NO-NONSENSE NUMERICAL school business