Fankie and Deano pal about down Galveston way, setting up a riverboat casino and copping off with Ursula Andress and Anita Ekberg...
War – or rather anti-war – propaganda from Powell (this time with Pressburger) and a story of a U-Boat landing in Canada...
Of course, the bonus about “doing” a historical epic about the Boxer rebellion is that practically no-one will question the facts because...
First out of the traps, and probably the most famous of the bunch, but still a bit of a flop, with Ray...
Undoubtedly the most revered of tonight’s uselessly scheduled triple bill, in which Roger Corman finally gets his finger out and does Poe...
Epic chronicling of the last days of Marcus A (and not, y’know, *really* the fall of the Roman Empire at all), in...
“A tale of urban reality”. It’s not like this round my bit of urban. Michael ‘nepotism’ Douglas stars as either a victim...
A good old fashioned tale of, well, falling in love. Nothing much else happens in this movie – in fact nothing much...
Alan Parker’s slightly *too* zeitgeisty stage school fluff comes round again, and of course we prefer the series – OK, it was...
Kevin Costner, Jason Robards’ son, the ‘scallywag’ character off of The Breakfast Club, and er, Jesse off of Nutriaman – the Copasaw...
One of the last of the “golden era” soft-porn romps to feature past-it actors in desultory supporting roles, with Oliver Reed, Wilfrid...
This demented costume romp combined spy and superhero in the form of Sir Reginald Hoover: suave, pipe-smoking criminologist ensconced in a secret...
Donald ‘Perfectly’ Pleasance and Raquel ‘Legend of Walks Far Woman’ Welch are at cross purposes amongst the stringy antibodies in this inexplicably...
Rather distasteful and utterly unfunny Whoopi Goldberg drugs ‘n’ vice “comedy”, with little of interest on screen unless the sight of such...
Ill-fated attempt at creating a sort of amphibious counterpart to Modesty Blaise
Is there something inherently rubbish about the source material that makes just about every adaptation of the memoirs of this bullshitting Venetian...
The tell-tale director’s name in the title fingers this as one of those late-period bunches of self-indulgent cobblers, to wit two hours...
“Save Ferris!” went the cry. And so we did. Yeah, it’s a little childish and stupid, but then so’s school. Actually, what...
It’s missing an exclamation mark, is the title of this film, along with a luxuriant Edwardian moustache on the upper lip of...
Ropey, ‘troubled’, bizarre-in-the-worst-way last hurrah from Peter Sellers, who plays both Sax Rohmer’s titular mastermind (in latex make-up and corny accent) and...
At the risk of exploding the sitting-on-the-fence-o-meter, we have to say it was, ahem, a bit of a mixed bag, all told.
The film we all hoped would be the last instalment of the Omen series. How wrong we were! Omen IV came some...
Kirk ‘snails’ Douglas is the captain of the Nimitz, a bloody great aircraft carrier which encounters a special effect (a laser light...
Maverick pop-art fantasy director Robert Fuest is let loose on Michael Moorcock's time-tripping novel of swinging psychosexual splother.
Clint steals Russian plane! Plane plugs into Clint’s brain! Plane looks extremely unconvincing in flight. But note how many British actors are...
‘Raaay! Lionel ‘Railway Children’ Jeffries invents Cavorite, enabling him to leisurely float to the moon in his conservatory, and get captured by...
Oh, the hype this generated at the time of its release, as you may recall. Isn’t Kevin Kline funny! No. Isn’t the...
A film of many alternative titles, sadly Sergio Leone: Let’s Get Silly isn’t one of them. Mexican Rod Steiger teams up with...
Daft Irwin Allenisation of an early Jules Verne story, with the motley likes of Red Buttons, Fabian (singing the rotten title song,...
Slade were the Daddies of the glam scene (just as Mud were the HP), so it's only fitting their sole cinematic foray...
He’s aliiiiiiive!
Compliance! As nippers, we were always amazed by how the big, silver, nut-shaped ship managed to look like it was floating so...
Wet exclamatory disaster second divisioner with Richard ‘Voyage to the Bottom of the’ Basehart, Robert ‘I Spy’ Culp, Leif ‘I Was Made...
Late ’80s adaptation of the Virginia Andrews teenage potboiler ‘much talked about in girls’ toilets’, according to one authoritative source, here tarted...
Early ’60s Elvisry with our man as the eldest son of a trailer trash family up against the Florida authorities. Songs include...
No doubt the boys and girls from Parrs Wood will be debating the best song in this happily ludicrous “let the kids...
Dirk Bogarde and Susan ‘Barretts of Wimpole Street’ Stephen are newlyweds in this Rings On Their Fingers-style romantic comedy with Thora Hird,...
Another hard-to-like ’70s Streisand screwball comedy, with Our Babs actually, let’s face it, Their Babs – as a wacky, motorbike-riding wife who...
Largely forgotten Thames sitcom by Harry ‘Bless This House’ Driver and Vince ‘Neighbour’ Powell with septuagenarians Irene ‘Fruitbat’ Handl and Wilfred ‘The...
It takes a bit of doing to make a film set during the Spanish Civil War and starring Gary Cooper boring, but...
The Queen Mother of science fiction films, with uncredited animation from Disney and rather cheekily credited co-writing from Shakespeare, plus turns from...
In this sequel to yer actual Guns of Navarone the plot revolves around the two leading characters from that film – Mallory and...
Factory foreman Clifford ‘ Stryker of the Yard’ Evans and soldiers Tommy Trinder and Gordon ‘Professionals’ Jackson liberate specialist machinery, children and...
Cameraman Jack Lemmon gets run over by a footballer. Crooked lawyer brother-in-law Walter Matthau seeks to capitalise on his minor injuries for...
Imagine a Venn diagram with three circles – mediocre comedies starring Goldie Hawn, mediocre comedies starring Chevy Chase, and mediocre comedies starring...
When another remake of this hitched up recently certain commentators were at pains to let us know how much more politically correct...
Anne ‘Petticoat Pirates’ Heywood and Sandy ‘Up the Down Staircase’ Dennis enjoy idyllic log cabin life wrestling playfully in the snow, until...
Iffy Hammer entry from that period when the original castles and crosses phase was beginning to tire, but they’d yet to discover...
Cushing’s back as the Baron, now almost totally mad with frustration at buggering up his past experiments, donning all-over facial bandaging, lopping...
Based loosely on the song, with Elvis as Johnny and Donna ‘Ellie Mae Clampett’ Douglas as Frankie, plus Harry ‘Sherman Potter’ Morgan....
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