“You want bread? Go fuck a baker!” Counterfeiter Willem Dafoe is advised in William Friedkind’s neon-drenched French Connection-style (well, there’s a big...
Well, here was an idea that couldn’t lose – take 40-odd years of Rank comedy hits, chop ’em up, stick ’em all...
The dramatic prototype version of Please, Sir! provides Sidney ‘Sneakers’ Poitier with the perfect platform to look stern as he tries to...
At the time, there was probably no-one better to film Pete Townsend’s convoluted concept fable of a sensorially-deprived serial victim who becomes...
“I’ll be tellin’ ’em – once upon a time there was an ugly ducklin’ – I’ll be singin’ ’em – the king...
Some embryonic George Cole in this very classy Ealing crime caper. The Putative Arfur and his bungling gang – including Bernard Bresslaw...
Which crap ’80s ad springs to mind first – bloke toasting flame-grilled whopper in the exhaust of a fighter plane or Peugeot...
Suspense… literally
A poor second bite of the portmanteau cherry for Amicus, with Burgess Meredith as Dr Diabolo, a carnival showman with a rather...
‘Potter plays – the hotter plays!’ Dennis’s second stab at the young-man-seduces-middle-aged-wife-of-trainspotter format after Schomoedipus, and his umpteenth stab at the young-man-drops-in-on-middle-aged-wife...
By our reckoning, there’s not a person alive today who dislikes this comedy, and we reckon that’s because it straddles the full...
The first of the posthumous sequels, with Blake Edwards cobbling together all the outtakes from the previous films he can muster, employing...
Ever wondered what Teri Copley, bubbly dickhead blonde home help of diabolical bizarrely-paired-with-repeats-of-Porridge menage-a-cinq drearcom We Got It Made, did next? The...
Canadian period wilderness drama in which Oliver Reed buys a mute Rita Tushingham for 1000 dollars, acts up something rotten even by...
This American TV movie consists of three stories all starring the great Karen Black in various guises. The first two tales are...
Ah, me. The list of memories this Cray-assisted madeleine brings forth is practically endless. Watching clips on Screen Test before it came...
Going beyond the bounds of decency-as-was, Hitchcock took his trademark black humour and shoved it into the foreground, with this whimsical tale...
An Australian take on the ‘young troublemakers re-educated in remote torture camps’ future fascist chestnut, with funny police vans, giant chess and...
It gets more convoluted still. This sanitorium-based whimsy started life as ‘Ring for Catty’, a (fairly) serious Patrick ‘Wives’ Cargill play, before...
Vincent Price returns under new management for a trio of chillers inspired by Nathaniel ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Hawthorne, involving crushed bodies under...
Probably the best thing about this is that it’s narrated by Sir Burgess Meredith but there are a few things to enjoy...
Bronson goes back to school.
The black and white Peter Sellers comedy is near enough a genre in itself, encapsulating as it does a certain time frame...
It’s post-apocalyptic New York. Again. Two rival gangs fight for control of the streets, one led by Max von Sydow – Antonius...
Odd, Anglo-Canadian feline horror portmanteau in which horror novelist Peter Cushing tells three terrible tales of supernatural catty menace to disbelieving publisher...
Dappy vanity project from Prince, which is only of interest if you really, really, *really* like the Parade album but for some...
Jane Russell does The Deep – i.e. swims about a lot looking for treasure. We do love exclamation marks in titles –...
After quitting the Bond franchise with just the one international cap, George Lazenby sank most of his earnings into this turned-on riposte...
Debbie Reynolds plays a sort of backwoods Toyah who rises to become the toast of Europe, before making an elementary yet rather...
It may sound tame with a Latin name, but - oooooOOOOOOOoooooh!
Famed high school drama with Sandy Dennis as an idealistic young English teacher flung in at the deep end to a violent,...
Odd stuff indeed with Barbra Streisand (no, come back!) as a lonely mother indulging in crypto-feminist reveries in her apartment – joining...
Aka “The Happy Housewives,” for some reason. Not a ‘Confessions’, or even an ‘Adventures’, this odd piece of bawdy flotsam which takes...
Robert Zemeckis turns out wall-to-wall emetic drear these days, but this little diamond from the days when the phrase ‘black comedy’ still...
Kiwi director Geoff Murphy started out self-funding his own spare-time productions on 16mm. Early efforts included action comedy Tankbusters and Uenuku, the...
We’ve always liked the late-period Hammers more than the acknowledged “classic” ’50s films, so thank heavens for the tide of popular opinion...
This Amicus portmanteau is crap. Everyone says so...
Paul Newman plays a Lionel Hutz-alike washed-up lawyer, kick-started back into life by Jack ‘Crazy like a Fox’ Warden. As featured on...
“Billing German art cinema, Herr Cream? Bit bourgeois, isn’t it?” Well, a) it’s a lean old week as regards our usual fare,...
Cyndi Lauper is a - cough - 'Small Medium at Large'
If we had a pound for every version of the old F Anstey body swap chestnut filmed over the years… Memories of...
This will be your cue to go immediately home and watch Brief Encounter.
We’ve just paid for these teas!
In a recent Creamguide (Films) straw poll of saucy Mexican IRA comedy westerns, this came fairly near the top. Brigitte Bardot and...
Peter Ustinov does a comedy Mexican general in this intentionally zany Alamo update with Harry ‘M*A*S*H’ Morgan and Kenneth “two coats, one...
Our pick of Porky and pals.
Aka, confusingly enough, Carry On Admiral. (It is, it is!) Based on another creaky old stage farce, Something About a Sailor, and...
It seems to have a fair few fans but we don’t care, we don’t give a damn – this Clement/La Frenais ‘satire’...
Now, we’ve never seen this and we don’t know why ‘cos it sounds tremendous. Starring David ‘Candleshoe’ Niven, Stanley ‘Albert’ Holloway, John...
Non-horror portmanteau films: the jury shall forever remain out on them, as far as we’re concerned. Here bumbling Justice of the Peace...
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