BEFUDDLED BUFFOON driving instructor BRIAN MURPHY, playing himself, struggles to teach residents of A Quirky West Country Town the difference between mirror,...
"ALL RIGHT, which one of you bitches is my mother?"
BRIAN DRAKE (do you see?), who is JOHN DUTTINE, finds himself playing mother hen to bunch of mildewing misfits including LORRAINE CHASE,...
OVER HERE we had the PG Tips chimps ("You hum it son, I'll play it").
DOWNSIZED DERRING-DO from the Infernomeister
ROTTEN SPIN on the above, as a forest ranger (now there's a readymade hero figure for you) and his boring family somehow...
THE SAINTED BERNARD CRIBBINS took the reins for this short-lived rural rumpus
OH LOOK, Compo tries to catch a glimpse of Nora Batty's night attire and then ends up in a bath on wheels...
THOSE DEPENDABLE boys down at Euston Road had two pops at this
BOMBASTIC TEATIME behemoth which sprawled across half a decade
FUNNY HOW anything with the word "laugh" in the title singularly fails to elicit much in the way of such reaction among...
WE'D WELCOME THEM.
NEVER SAW this one coming.
FOUR-WAY GRIM crime capers, with each hour-plus episode detailing, in sequence, the doings of a police inspector, a lawyer, a felon and...
NEITHER YOUR gung-ho RICHARD GREENE nonsense nor your mystical MICHAEL PRAED codswallop
TWO FOR the price of none!
THE ONE that went "That's right, I'm back, and it's not a repeat" even when it was.
SUNDAY MORNING positive programming for the disabled, featuring BRIAN RIX and some odd cartoon people.
ROTTEN REPLACEMENT for PIPKINS
DEFECTING TO ITV in hope of big money, or at least better guests than Our Kid, the fractious fox instead found himself...
VERY MUCH old school cod liver oil-esque educationalism with doddery old ventriloquist TERRY HALL and eponymous mangy cat, both of who had...
LIGHTHOUSE-BESIEGING, SURGERY-BAITING, Dr Who-shagging, wart-wielding epic
THE FIRST of Sir Dave's big budget quests
EPONYMOUS, ER, man buggers off from CAROL ROYLE (as made plain in wistful opening titles).
Cheap and cheerful TOTP-baiting bonanza on t'other side
NO RELATION to your rug-cutting frug-promoting Ayshea affair, oh no.
ONLY IN the 1980s.
RAGGED STUDIO-BOUND videotape romp through the turn of the century life of the titular royal-bedding ragamuffin
L! I! N! G! O! ran the sub-Ottawan theme tune to this half-remembered, half-arsed bingo-based Thursday night quiz
FAT MAN dons comedy wig/glasses/oversized bowtie while thin man attempts to sing popular song on acoustic guitar.
LOW-KEY LARKERY in pretend London nightspot the Seal Club
FREDDIE "DREAMERS" GARRITTY marshalled this music/talent/adventure show with audience participation.
ESOTERIC, I.E. IFFY "animal living with human family" ITV situationism starring a baby elephant.
NONSENSE-TALKING GREEN egg-shaped alien visits Earth and Sidney "Skeets" Keats, a generic suburban boy.
COMICAL ITALIANO whimsy with red faces and ladles of pasta much in evidence.
SIMPERING EXISTENTIAL meadering mutt with sideline in crimestopping can't be arsed staying in one place
THIS HAS a lot to answer for, chiefly bequeathing Carla Lane upon the nation and her "daffy" "sassy" "Scouse" "wit".
Long-running, unchanging schools' biology work-out
EEKING OUT the GOOD LIFE formula to its ultimate conclusion
A TEENAGE TINA HEATH of Blue Peter pregnancy fame dons a bad blue anorak and converses with one very scary witch
NUTS AND BOLTS knock-off of the bacofoil and plasterboard big screen classic
STULTIFYING SUMMER holiday morning yawnathon for inner city tykes
THREE PLAYLETS courtesy of ALAN "COALHOUSE DOOR" PLATER
SEMINAL KIDS pursuit caper from pen of N.J. "DIXON" CRISP
NEW ORLEANS criminal insurance investigator gets blinded in the line of duty, but on he bloody well goes.
WHY DON'T you build yourself a word?
SONOROUSLY DULL chattery with DEREK "MR AND MRS" BATEY jawing with various D listers
SUB-STANDARD SORTIE from GET IT TOGETHER, were such a thing feasible, and with this being the 1970s it most certainly was. No...
MUSTY MAN ALIVERY with a doff of a whimsy-sized hat to ABOUT BRITAIN.