IMPERIAL LUNCHEON appointment and always a highlight of any school skive, here dwelt the esteemed likes of DONNY MACLEOD, BOB LANGLEY, TOM COYNE and MARIAN FOSTER, holding forth in the foyer of the Beeb’s Birmingham studios with chat, music, cookery and celebrity in equal dosage. It was all here, and all wonderful: PETER SEABROOK in the garden; DR WHO monsters; MICHAEL SMITH cooking a roast; bodypoppers; breakdancers; numerous pieces of military hardware landing on the forecourt outside; GERARD KENNY doing ‘New York New York (So Good They Named It Twice)’ for weeks on end; pets who looked like their owners; pets doing obstacle courses; pets owned by celebrities; pets who looked like their owners who were celebrities; OLIVER REED doing trouserless dancing; OWEN PAUL forgetting to mime; kids doing ballet dancing; kids doing rock dancing; GEOFF CAPES or GIANT HAYSTACKS lifting two grown men; EILEEN FOWLER doing exercises for biddies; ARTHUR NEGUS and his antiques; competitions to visit the studio; competition winners on a tour of the studio; competition winners and their drawings/costumes/makes lined up along one side of the studio; and PAUL GAMBACCINI. Latterly taken over by MAGNUS MAGNUSSON who preferred doing interviews in “more decorous surroundings” than outside on the lawn, and who ruined everything. Dropping by: PAUL COIA, JOSEPHINE BUCHAN, ANNA FORD, TONY FRANCIS, PHILIP TIBENHAM and DAVID SEYMOUR. Axed by Michael Grade, although Magnus assured us “there will still be programmes from BBC Birmingham”. Turned out to be the rubbish DAYTIME LIVE. SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MILL spin-off was the perfect end-of-evening tonic courtesy of (usually) KENNY BALL AND HIS JAZZMEN, a stand-up, a sit-down celebrity and a frosty MISS ELAINE PAIGE.