"DEAR BBC, I am quite frankly staggered. Yours, quite frankly staggered."
LIVE FROM the verdant pastures of Shepherd's Bush Green
With BBC4 showing an episode of THE RUSSELL HARTY SHOW on Tuesday 20 March, and then ITV1 screening The Unforgettable… Russell Harty...
ANNUAL TIN-RATTLE from Television Centre
PAN-CONTINENTAL LATE 80s joke, mainly thanks to ludicrously ambitious Euro-harmony raison d'etre, and much-derided sub-Wogan compere HENRY KELLY.
EMERGENCY STANDBY meeting of 'blarney' quota during Old Tel's wanderings in televisual Peter Egan-interviewing
NOT TO be confused with RUSSELL HARTY the show (not the man), for which see, erm, RUSSELL HARTY.
ARTICULAR AVUNCULARISMS twice-weekly at 8.30pm
Now probably self-deleted from El Tel's memory banks
FARFLUNG OUTPOST of a pre-BLANK Terence of Wogan empire, wherein our host would take time out of his Sunday afternoon post-prandial repose...
EPIC EPICUREAN jawathon live from the South Bank boasting the tremulous troika of CLIVE JAMES, JANET-STREET PORTER and RUSSELL HARTY
BLARNEY BEDECKED ultra-2D cartoonery attempt to hammer home "don't drop crisp bags" message by stealth