The bard of back-to-basics. Shoots all his films on Super 8 with no cuts between scenes, using amateur actors in natural light at the precise time of day the scene is supposed to take place. Would run a mile at the sight of a single megabyte of your computer-generated so- called imagery, or indeed a tripod. His three-hour Scottish oil rig sufferathon Breaking The Waves holds the record for the number of uneasily shifted buttocks in a single cinema screening. Can’t, in all probability, do slapstick.