SHORT-ARSED SNIVELLING baldie Turtle (JOHN LANDRY) is the brains of a petty crime partnership, the other half being, huge, thuggish, Crombie-clad skinhead Razor Eddie (MICHAEL ATWELL). One night they nick a Ford Transit, only to find (next day) that it is loaded with the booty from a daring deposit box robbery at a bank. Needless to say, the bankrobbers are neatly rounded up open-mouthed and bewildered as the police arrive; their getaway vehicle having vanished into thin air. Of course there are no links to Turtle and Eddie who are left in peaceful ignorance, and each episode was based on them opening a deposit box and an adventure sprang from the contents. Their deeds might have been Quixotic, but by now unmemorable.