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Sport AM

GNOMIC CELTIC ANCHORMAN BOB SYMONDS was your genial host for this Monday night third-rate sportsfest. Opening titles showed proto-Wallace plasticine man jumping out of his bed to the sound of a ringing alarm clock, rushing downstairs and switching on the telly. Typical line-up consisted of some European golf (Belgian Open, usually), a bit of boxing (the WBO straw-weight championship from the Philippines) and a round-up of the weekend’s goals from Portugal.

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