TV Cream

TV: S is for...

Sapphire and Steel

Steely Visions in blue Erm... sapphirey

WOBBLY FRIDGE magnet letters and tadgerish geometric cartoons began this pretentious sci-fi supernatuum about two elemental agents Sapphire (JOANNA LUMLEY) and Steel (DAVID McCALLUM). Opening bullshit portent tried to impress with flash vocabulary “heavy transuranic elements may not be used.” Yeah, and Sapphire and Steel are not fucking elements. Ludicrous bag of wank plots involved being able to see through time, baubles of light, railway stations being dragged back through history and being able to reduce your body temperature below freezing. The sort of stuff, then, that comprises an entire series of Torchwood.

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  1. paulus - Bangkok

    July 16, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    The episode that had a man without a face… no eyes, no mouth, nothing… ran second in scariness only to Dr Who’s Whaaa Whaaa theme music.
    Hid behind the sofa at both.

    It’s crap(yourself)tastic!

  2. Clio

    April 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

    I never understood a word of it.

  3. Tony Hughes

    May 12, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    I recall the one guest-starring “Lead”, played by a large black guy who kept saying “I’m Lead. I’m insulating”.

  4. Lee James Turnock

    July 3, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Apparently one of the inspirations behind Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, which was also, as TV Cream so succinctly puts it, a ludicrous bag of wank.

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