SHEPHERD’S BUSH THEATRE, Wednesday night, the 1980s. Wogan is sat on a sofa. Behind him is a big screen. “Now, steady on!” he booms to the nation. “Fix your hats and saddle your horses! It’s that time at last! Join me as we set a course westward ho! Oh yes! It’s…DALLAS!” In brief, “A rich Texan family faces all kinds of trouble.” In full, the brainchild of DAVID JACOBS (not the Radio 2 one, sadly). LARRY HAGMAN (JR), KEN KERCHEVAL (Cliff Barnes), BARBARA BEL GEDDES (Miss Ellie), VICTORIA PRINCIPAL (Pam), CHARLENE TILTON (Lucy), PATRICK DUFFY (Bobby), HOWARD KEEL (Clayton Farlow), LINDA GRAY (Sue Ellen) got burned into the global consciousness via much-parodied three-way split screen grinning intro. JR and Sue Ellen, Bobby and Pam, Lucy and Mitch, Jock and Miss Ellie – sexual tension was everywhere, culminating in top oversold JR shooting and “eagerly awaited” revelation of identity of almost-killer at start of the following season. Gave Tel years worth of material (“Why only one phone?! Wardrobes the size of garages I tell yer!”) Tanked with unpopular death of Bobby, and subsequent revelation of him alive, well, and showering: intervening season had all been one of crazy Pamela’s dreams. Various characters emigrated north to KNOTS LANDING. Reunion “specials” more frequent than Bush family presidencies.