WELCOME TO MICHAEL PARKINSON: The Wilderness Years. After flouncing off TV-am and realising he had no other gig apart from that stuff he’s done on Australian telly for about half a bloody century, Parky had to take what he could find. Which was this and GIVE US A CLUE. Here the miserable bastard wheeled celebrity guests into a studio – stars, if you will – and got them to reveal some hitherto unknown aspect of their personality, i.e. a secret. And that was it. Although given it was the 80s, his guests were the likes of SU POLLARD, GARY GLITTER, BERNIE CLIFTON and DEREK NIMMO. Parky tempted us in the trailer (and we needed a LOT of tempting) with the following questions: “Which one of these spent three weeks in bed with a lobster? Almost committed to a life of celibacy? And once said ‘I love it, I want it, I need it’?” Come again?