PERENNIAL TARGET for “cuh?!” criticism, this cheapo would-be glamorous soap set on a passenger ferry on a triangular route between Felixstowe, Stockholm and Amsterdam (do you see?) invited derision pretty much from the off thanks to its fundamental flaw – the North Sea is a grey, freezing dreary wasteland, and no place for viewer-friendly shenanigans. Most-remembered scene introduced sexy ship’s purser KATE O’MARA sunbathing topless on foredeck (chest down, of course), visibly suffering from effects of 40mph wind and light drizzle. It got no better. O’Mara left after two series (nowadays it would’ve been pulled after two episodes). Also on board: MICHAEL CRAIG, LARRY LAMB, NIGEL STOCK and SCOTT FREDERICKS. DIANA COUPLAND, PAUL JERRICHO and GEORGE BAKER were drummed on board to try and pep up interest. Instead it sank, all hands, no doubt in the choppy wake of THE LOVE BOAT.