TV Cream

TV: N is for...

Northstar

FAR-FETCHED, FURTHER-FLUNG one-off snubbed by evil bastard US networks. Jobbing astronaut lands place on unassuming Moon mission, forgets primary school don’t-look-at-sun classroom exercise, loses sight, and returns to Earth brimming with mystical powers. Shoved straight into top-grade US loony institute, but escapes by jumping into nearby helicopter, speed-reading the manual in two seconds and flying off. Trouble was, prolonged exposure to UV rays – of more than, say, three seconds – resulted in spectacular head-throbbing activity pending full cranium explosion.

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