Posts Tagged With 'Bob Todd'

Jane

Posted in J is for... by TV Cream | 7 Comments »

Misguided schedule filling attempt to combine wartime nostalgia with nascent video technology which probably doesn’t figure too prominently on GLYNIS BARBER’s CV. The future Makepeace, yet to break out of the ‘bit of fluff’ phase of her career, played the hapless heroine (press kit cliché number one) of the eponymous Daily Mirror cartoon strip, who kept the British end up in its darkest hour (press kit cliché number two) by scampering about for a couple of panels in a frilly negligée, and… er, that was it. Kickstarting the much loved but frankly inexplicable tradition of aimlessly naughty newspaper cartoons, it was Axa without the dense cosmic symbolism, George and Lynne minus the coruscating wit. Nevertheless, in a few short years it became a national institution. Well, there was a war on.

In 1982, there was another war on, and with a wave of jingoistic ‘forty years on’ WWII nostalgia subsequently rippling through the media, it sounded like a bit of a wheeze to run off a little tribute to Jane in the form of a semi-live action recreation of the strip, with captions, panels and on-screen sound effects to boot. So NEIL INNES was hired to pen a wistful crooning paean to “the forces’ favourite”, veteran announcer BOB DANVERS-WALKER provided authentic period narration, and Barber was chosen as a suitably decorative leading lady (press kit cliché number three). The stage was set for a dose of risqué ribaldry with lashings of olde worlde charm (press kit clichés numbers four through six inclusive).

When things got underway, however, it quickly became clear how slight the source material was, even for five ten minute chunks. There’d be a bit of espionage intrigue in a chateau somewhere, Barber would somehow get her clothes torn off and run about a bit in her scanties until the reliable stooge likes of ROBIN BAILEY, MAX WALL or BOB TODD would happen to come through the door, cop an eyeful, and drop their monocles in randy astonishment to the sound of a violin emulating a wolf whistle. It was all good innocent saucy fun!

Or, to put it another way, it was rather dull and vaguely creepy. And not helped by the chosen method of rendering those cartoony backgrounds – or, to be fair, pretty much the only method available at the time – the venerable Colour Separation Overlay. Yep, hairdos buzzed with blueish electricity, rogue shadows fizzled round Glynis’s high heels, and the retinas of the viewing public screamed out for Optrex, or at least ten minutes staring at the wood chip to recover.

At least the background palette was restricted to suitable subdued wartime beiges and browns, leaving the end product slightly more watchable than such eye-watering Day-Glo affairs as CAPTAIN ZEP and JOHN LENNON: A JOURNEY IN THE LIFE. This didn’t mean it was anything other than a sterling technical achievement by the standards of the time. It was highly skilled, painstaking work (from a team led by STEVE ‘TRIPODS’ DREWETT), but never in the history of BBC visual effects had so many laboured for so long to produce something so unimpressive.

Still, it fared reasonably enough in the no man’s land of early evening BBC2 to warrant a sequel, Jane in the Desert, being quietly slipped out with a polite cough two years later, with a more audacious colour palette and a rather more accomplished way of mixing the actors and backgrounds. Then the whole thing was brought to a furtive close, with all concerned agreeing that some nostalgic whimsies are best left as faded sepia-tinted memories. For all of three years, after which JASPER CARROTT and friends turned the damn thing into a feature film, with even more calamitous results. “Oh Colonel, really!”

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Ups and Downs of a Handyman

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Aka “The Happy Housewives,” for some reason. Not a ‘Confessions’, or even an ‘Adventures’, this odd piece of bawdy flotsam which takes Barry ‘Reilly: Ace of Spies’ Stokes as its Askwith, and features Flumps narrator Gay ‘Wheels Turning Round’ Soper, Sue ‘Crossroads’ Lloyd, Valerie ‘String’ Leon, Bob “in every dodgy comedy film” Todd and Chic “off you go, you small boys” Murray. Consensus has it that, of the Askwith knock-offs, this is the poorest by an arse, although there’s much worse out there, we can assure you. Ahem. Anyhow, for the lowdown on this particular entry, we now defer to the internet in all its majesty – “Four spankings are administered by the bottom spanking village squire Bob Todd. All the spanking scenes are on screen and are all mild and fun”, “Female celebrity smoking review: Sue Lloyd takes a couple of long drags”, “Features shot of both BEA and British Airways liveried RMA class AEC Routemasters on Hammersmith flyover and also background shots of Alder Valley Dennis Loline IIIs and a Marshall bodied saloon in National Bus Company red.”

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That’s Your Funeral

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You’ve got to love that mid-’70s fad for making films of sitcoms, even ones that, like this feuding funeral directors farce, weren’t at all popular in the first place. Misplaced corpses, a memorial statue, a cremated casket full of hash, a will that inevitably keeps blowing out of people’s hands and some magnificently empty ’70s motorways provide the plot’s weak backbone, and the end result is – yep, a stoned comedy chase scene. Bill ‘Giddy Game Show’ Fraser, Roy ‘Hardwicke House’ Kinnear, Sue ‘Crossroads’ Lloyd, Richard ‘Sykes’ Wattis, Frank ‘Served?’ Thornton, Bob ‘Steam Video’ Todd, Hugh ‘Pardon My Genie’ Paddick, Michael ‘Buses’ Robbins and Michael ‘Hot Mum’ Knowles take part.

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Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall

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The film of the book of the war! Struggling manfully to match the genius of the book this doesn’t quite make it and despite his best efforts Jim Dale as Spike Milligan comes across as a bit of a smart arse (although it does fair a little better than Spike’s own readings of the book which came across even worse). There’s also a bit too much musing on the futility of the war and not enough chasing escaped pigs around old folks homes for our liking. Still, Spike himself and Pat Coombs as his mental parents Leo and Kitty are great and Arthur Lowe as moronic platoon commander Leather Suitcase is splendid, too. Bill ‘Oh, no!’ Maynard, Tony ‘git’ Booth, Bob Todd and Geoffrey Hughes make up the ranks. “Silence when you speak to an officer!”

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Benny Hill Show, The

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"Mammy!" Benny does his bit for international relations - "and believe me, I've had a few!"

MORE FAMOUS than the Queen in the US. Lived in a shitty flat with money under the mattress. Ben Elton hated him. Same script used for entire decades of “specials”: Hill’s Angels; dappy beret-with-protruding-tongue “character”; running at triple speed in single file via a zigzag route through the park; slapping that bald bloke on the head; “humourous graffiti”; more running at triple speed back in the other direction; HENRY MAGEE, BOB TODD, BELLA EMBERG, NICHOLAS PARSONS looking alternately discomfited and petrified; Fred Scuttle; Chinese bloke Chow Mein. Sides split from sea to shining sea.

"Then she told me she couldn't half do with a stiff one" "And a rock cake caught 'im right between the eyes!"
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Football Crazy

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THAT PERENNIAL children’s comedy staple: a crap local football team, here with comic stalwart BOB TODD going from crap manager to ace forward after he’s drugged by his daughter (LIZ GEBHART, the sappy, Alderton-fancying Christian Maureen in PLEASE, SIR!). Another Esmonde/Larbey creation.

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Digby: the Biggest Dog in the World

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CHRISTMAS TELLY staple for the entire late seventies concerning Loveable Old English Spang- er, Sheepdog who swallowed some hazily-defined top secret formula and grew to huge size with comical results. Dodgy superimposition, naff “inside of dog’s mouth” model, JIM DALE, VICTOR SPINETTI, BOB TODD and even SPIKE MILLIGAN featured.

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Steam Video Company, The

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POINTEDLY GIVEN the classification “FARCES” in Mark Lewisohn’s RT Comedy Guide, here were WILLIAM FRANKLYN, BARRY CRYER, BOB TODD, MADELINE SMITH and JIMMY MULVILLE in a brilliantly-written Marshall and Renwick spoofathon. Only six were ever made, presumably because nobody at Thames knew what to make of episodes like I Was Hitler’s Bookie, Amityville II – Luton Town 3 and, best of all, The Fall Of The House Of Franklyn. Superb all the same.

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