TV Cream

TV: B is for...


THROUGH THE CLOUDS, a shape appears. Is it a face? It is a lump of rock? Is it the evado-tax utopia of Jersey? Yes, yes and yes! To the strains of the best twangy guitar this side of the Needles came JOHN NETTLES with a gammy leg and a drink problem, intent on clearing up the curiously high number of non-tax fraud crimes besetting that fair isle. Employed by the Bureau des Estrangers. Drove a 1947 Triumph sports car on roads made up of the noisest gravel in the world. Father-in-law, TERENCE ALEXANDER, supplied chucklesome “brushes” with criminality, while Leela off of DR WHO became his bit on the side before she got bumped off. Other squeezes included amusingly-named lawyer Marianne Bellshade (CELIA “I’VE CHANGED CLIFFORD, I HAVE TRIPLETS NOW” IMRIE), tourist officer Francine (CECILE PAOLI) and professional jewel nicker Philippa Vale (LIZA “SOUNDS LIKE…”GODDARD). Other regulars who’d show up whenever someone was needed to ask “What are you up to, Jim?” included Diamond, er, Diamante Lil; quack Dr Lejeune; and “long-suffering” boss man Chief Inspector Crozier. Last series saw sulky John limp off to Provence only to find – heavens! – all his cases seemed to involve going back to Jersey.



  1. Lee James Turnock

    May 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    The only episode of this you really HAVE to see features (among others) Toyah Wilcox as a punk rocker called Toola (I bet that was a stretch!), Christopher Biggins as a villain and Lynda ‘Oxo’ Bellingham as a beauty queen.

  2. Alan B

    May 21, 2012 at 8:55 am

    The one with a load of devil worshippers led by Blofeld out of James Bond was hilarious too. And of course John Nettles, squinting and red-faced as if he’d eaten 6 rounds of egg sandwiches on Mother’s Pride and was trying to shift the intestinal consequences.

  3. Richard16378

    May 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    At leasr once a series the production team seemed to let their hair down & go a bit silly with a story.

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