TV Cream

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“Go back, go back, for my parts do freeze”

In the mid-80s any artistes worth their salt did a longform feature film that, ahem, ‘dramatised’ their latest hits, roped in a few guest stars, essayed some refreshingly amateurish acting, and got a limited cinematic release.

To which the nation invariably shrugged its shoulders and waited for Short Circuit 2 (“Some say he’s nuts. Some say he’s bolts!”)

The Pet Shop Boys did It Couldn’t Happen Here (“Tomato! Bacon! A fried slice!”), Macca did Give My Regards To Broad Street, Madness did one, The The had Neneh Cherry being threatened by a phallic train set…and so on. And so to Jerusalem, by The Style Council.

Here’s Paul Welly (sic) commanding the sea “thus I say go back” before joining Dee C Lee in the worst song he’s ever written. This has to be a genre that’s long overdue a revival. Surely it’s time for a Take That Hard Day’s Night-style romp? Or a Coldplay Joe Orton-esque satire on recession Britain?



  1. Nick

    November 12, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Wierd. I was only thinking of that lost phenomenon ‘The Extended Pop Video’ only this morning…

    Bowie/Temple collaboration for Blue Jean as well as the Pet Shop Boys. Actually, what has happened to pop promos full stop? Has there been any memorable ones this decade?

  2. Mark Jones

    November 12, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Luckily, The Darkness are safely down the dumper now, as a ‘rock and roll’ movie could well have been the sort of thing they’d have done. What was the last British band-based movie, anyway? I know The Flaming Lips have got one out at the moment, so maybe there’s a revival in the offing, but until then it’s probably Spice World, isn’t it?

    Is “It Couldn’t Happen Here” actually out on DVD? I fancy re-watching it, but not enough to rig up my VHS and find my tape of it in my attic.

  3. Stu

    November 12, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    I’m glad it’s not just me who thought of Spice World.

    In this time when everything is all downloads and musical air, I’m surprised record companies aren’t financing films that are basically showcases for their music. Typical story — young girl moves to London seeking her fortune and meets Girls Aloud, Snow Patrol and Will Young who are only too happy to help her out by allowing her to perform during one of their sessions, which just happen to be in Trafalgar Square, the Reading Room of the British Library and Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre.

  4. Rob

    November 13, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Do all those S-Club 7/S-Club Juniors ones count?

  5. Steve Williams

    November 13, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    How soon we forget Seeing Double with S Club, brilliantly released the second they careered down the dumper. Simon Tyers pointed out the best thing about S Club 7’s TV ventures was that the Radio Times faithfully ran the credits as “Rachel – Rachel Stevens, Hannah – Hannah Spearrit” and so on, every single week.

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