TV Cream

How We Used To List

How We Used To List: 6th – 12th JULY 2002


What we were watching this week 20 years ago, as recorded in the back-issues of TV Cream’s weekly ‘e-mag’, Creamguide…

(We still send out Creamguides every week via email. If you’d like to receive it – it’s free, there are no ads, we don’t sell on your address, you can unsubscribe whenever; we’re basically soppy like that – then fill in your details below.)


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TV CREAM TIMES
6th – 12th July 2002
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Like Jagger meeting McCartney –
Phil Norman *and* Chris Diamond
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Saturday 6th July

BBC2

13.05 The Snows of Kilimanjaro
Gaaah! We got all excited on Sunday, noting in the Observer TV guide that Saturday’s matinee on Two was listed as a double bill of The Intelligence Men and That Riviera Touch, providing at last a chance to compare and contrast Morecambe and Wise’s two decent cinema outings head to head. Instead, we get practically the exact opposite, this obscure Hemingway adaptation with Gregory Peck. Of course, we should’ve known better, as the Sunday papers’ listings for the following Saturday are haphazard guesswork at best, indeed we don’t even know why they bother with them at all, as the mass of inaccuracies just makes them look like idiots. And in the Observer guide’s case, it’s not as if they need any more help in that direction…

14.55 Islands in the Stream
George C Scott plays a sculpting fisherman skiving off from the war. At no point does he do a little tap dance, fall over onto a lilo and say “Give us a kiss!”, or drink a bottle of wine, get coshed on the back of the head, and go “By ‘eck! That’s strong stuff!”

20.30 The Good Life
We’ve had two episodes of this flung on unscheduled on BBC2 in the past seven days, while Tim Henman’s been playing – or possibly been about to play – on BBC1. Ironically, the only episode actually scheduled is probably the least likely to go out.

ITV

20.15 It Shouldn’t Happen To A TV Vet
Sometimes these are half decent, other times they’re completely diabolical, and we’ll leave you to decide what camp this falls in when we tell you the contributors include Trude Mostue and some bloke off Emmerdale.

CHANNEL 4

06.00 Ivor The Engine

12.00 Little House On The Prarie
A double bill means that there’s seven episodes on this week,. which is good because it must mean that pretty soon we can stop having to come up with billings for it.

20.00 The Pink Panther Strikes Again
What with this, a Bond season, the return of La Collins and numerous postponements and rapid repeats, the films this week take on a very familiar feel indeed. Still, this is the last half-decent Panther, the one where Lom goes mad and invents an Eiffel Tower disintegrator, so enjoy while ye can. Not sure where this ‘season’ of Four’s is going next – they seem to have skipped A Shot In the Dark, rather stupidly. Anyhow – Lesley-Anne Down, Burt Kwouk, Leonard Rossiter, Richard ‘Slartibartfast’ Vernon, Geoffrey ‘Catweazle’ Bayldon, Graham Stark, Gordon Rawlings, Omar Sharif, Dudley ‘CFF’ Sutton, a very young Chris Langham, and that’s Mrs. Director Julie Andrews overdubbing Michael ‘On The Buses’ Robbins.

CHANNEL 5

17.30 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
Christ, time flies, doesn’t it? We remember going to see this one at the cinema when it came out, and thinking Bobcat Goldthwaite was dead funny. Older and wiser now, we prefer to draw a discreet veil over the whole business, though we see that even the RT describes this film as ‘lazy’, which is as good a reason as any for a moratorium on the most overused and, well, lazy word in the contemporary critic’s vocabulary. We say, bring back ‘rubbish’!

22.55 The Bitch
Gaaah! We’d been wondering how long Channel Five would take to get round to showing these. Joanie reprises her role as the Whovianly-named Fontaine Khaled, running a feeble-looking disco, shagging chauffeurs, avoiding the Mafia and generally perfecting that ill-advised flicky perm. About halfway through you’ll give up trying to work out what’s actually supposed to be happening (Drugs?Something about a racehorse?), as the sight of John ‘Cliffy’ Ratzenberger grooving to The Lone Ranger by Quantum Jump all but obliterates your already frazzled concentration span. Still, the theme tune, in true Shaft style, is better and funkier than The Stud’s (“She’s like a wicked wicked witch!”) and the ever game Sue ‘Crossroads’ Lloyd returns as her even more debauched best mate Vanessa. Also strutting their stuff to Native New Yorker – Carolyn ‘Survivors’ Seymour, Ian ‘Don Quick’ Hendry, Pamela ‘Into the Labyrinth’ Salem and Cherry ‘Legs’ Gillespie.

05.10 Sons and Daughters
Look, our PC’s on its last legs and we’re keeping it brief, OK?

Sunday 7th July

BBC1

23.05 Running Scared
Billy Crystal and ex-tapdancer Gregory Hines front this wisecracking buddy cop flick. More to the point, Kim Wilde provides the soundtrack, alongside Patti Labelle and Michael MacDonald (not together, mind), New Edition, ex-Tubes frontman Fee Waybill, and legendary all-girl funksters Klymaxx with Man Size Love.

BBC2

12.00 Wimbledon’s Greatest Hits
Apparently one of these did go out last week, but we’re not sure when that was. And now the tournament’s over, these’ll be useless until next year. Anyway, the last part of this Rock’n’Tennis Years is scheduled as 1998, but never mind that, go to the ‘sport’ section of http://www.tv-ark.co.uk and download the opening titles of Wmbldn 84, which includes Harry pointing out a car on fire outside the place, to emphasise the ‘hot’ nature of the day’s action, and carefully denoting that it’s a Daimler Princess.

13.40 Counterpoint
Bizarre concentration camp orchestral heroics with Charlton Heston and Leslie Nielsen.

15.25 The Battle of Midway
It’s WWII afternoon! Again! Here we’re up against the Japs, of course. Big names like Henry Fonda, Charlton Heston (again) and James Coburn take part, but further down the pecking order there’s Robert Wagner, Erik Estrada and Tom Selleck on hand. Presumably postponed from 6th of May.

17.30 Steptoe and Son
18.00 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em
Can these programmes only be shown together now? Expect them to be followed by a load more filler rubbish when the tennis inevitably overruns.

21.50 Celebrity Relics
Despite this programme being on a continuous loop on BBC Choice for the last two years, we’ve never seen it and don’t know what happens in it. But it says here, Mark Lamarr is going to pay tribute to Tommy Cooper, if it actually goes out.

ITV

00.50 The Dance Years
A repeat outing for Dangerous Dave Pearce’s filler series looking at the dancefloor hits of the last decade-and-a-half, kicking off with 1988, when he looked about fifty and was offering a FR-R-R-RESH start to the week on Radio London alongside, er, Tony Blackburn.

CHANNEL 4

06.05 Ivor The Engine
06.10 The Magic Roundabout
The more time we spend on these, the less we can moan about Steve Wright.

14.55 The Cockleshell Heroes
It’s paddles up for Jose Ferrer, canoeing into Nazi-occupied Bordeaux for some wartime shipyard sabotage with Trevor Howard, Anthony Newley, Dora Bryan and Christopher Lee as Mr Ship (sort of). And of course the best thing about this is Dave ‘Q’ Lodge and how he used to have the piss taken out of him mercilessly by Spike Milligan for having been in it.

23.05 Banzai
Is this the one where the three rubbish Freddie Mercury lookalikes have to balance on the crossbar of a goalpost for as long as they can? Even if it isn’t, these repeats are still ace. ‘That’s so typical of the man!’

CHANNEL 5

06.30 Dappledown Farm
Hooray! Replacing It’s Your Funeral, as well, but still only on once a week, worse luck.

12.30 Kylie Minogue Top Ten
Well, we all know what the official best Kylie single of all time is by now, thanks to TVC’s Real Top 100 Singles Of All-Time. But did Channel Five viewers agree with us? This repeated chart countdown will explain.

Monday 8th July

BBC1

14.05 Quincy
Ooh, blimey. There we were expecting Diagnosis Murder to run ad infinitum, and now this old chestnut’s suddenly been dragged out, every day – except Thursday – at this time. But where’s the rest of bloody Shoestring, BBC?

14.55 Just Good Friends
The return of this cannot make up for the fact we’ve lost the Have I Got News For You repeats, seemingly because someone at the BBC watched it and realised it was going out. And that’s a real shame, as Thursday’s saw Rory McGrath plugging Trivial Pursuit and a whole round based around Style Trial, and on Friday Clive Anderson did a load of jokes about Angus’ adverts for the Woolwich. Which you don’t get on daytime anywhere else.

17.00 Blue Peter
Put the tape on! An Elvis special, including Liz going to Memphis and – blimey – Matt singing his own version of Jailhouse Rock. That’s watercooler telly, right there.

00.10 Jukebox Heroes
John Leyton had a number one in 1961, but to be honest we’ve never heard of him. Something this documentary hopes to put right, but it’s simply preaching to the converted at this time of night.

BBC2

10.50 The Barefoot Executive
It’s the summer holidays (nearly), so here come those Disney programme fillers, on the BBC for a change. Kurt ‘Tennis Shoes’ Russell helps out Harry ‘MASH’ Morgan’s ailing TV network by appointing a chimp as executive in this unusually (for Disney) sort-of satirical romp. With cameo relief from Tristram ‘King of the Rocket Men’ Coffin. Why not just show King of the Rocket Men again? That’s perfect summer holiday fare!

22.00 Knowing Me Knowing You… with Alan Partridge
No, not The Day Today as the clueless BBC2 announcer stupidly said three weeks ago. Another great series, we’re saying, although we’re not sure we’ll be able to watch show three without remembering watching it once with our gran who, you’ll be unsurprised to hear, remained non-plussed throughout.

23.20 Trouble At The Top
Yes! It’s the Bucks Fizz episode again, perhaps most notable for David Van Day saying “We were in the boob age” with a completely straight face.

ITV

REGIONALIA!
13.05 A Year To Remember (Meridian only)
A Creamguide contributor saw this daily series last week, and was pleased to see that it’s Dinenage linking part-two-of-the-local-news style reports from a certain year. The one we caught was for 1981 and while there was stuff about crop circles, common cold research and a family living in a nuclear bunker, there was also the last Day By Day on Southern, renamed Day By Yesterday and culminating in all the male presenters forming a choir to sing the show’s retrospective praises accompanied by a full horn section.

CHANNEL 4

09.00 Little House On The Prairie
On every day at this time, cos we’re sick of typing it out.

05.50 Ivor The Engine
05.55 The Clangers

CHANNEL 5

11.00 Magnum PI
This is on every day at this time too, and we’ve no idea why.

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CREAM-CESTORS!
What you’ll be seeing on http://tv.cream.org in 2022…

This week
THE SIX O’CLOCK NEWS (weekdays, 18.00, BBC1)
vs NATIONWIDE (1969-1982)

Today we’re paying tribute to the demented show where a flamboyant frontman takes a light-hearted look at the day’s events via comedy and song – and also Nationwide. Yes, you can find out more about the ‘wide on http://www.offthetelly.co.uk, but we’d like to stop and draw your attention to the programme that is clearly it’s modern-day equivalent, and, now that Blue Peter’s only on twice a week and Countdown’s gone off the boil a bit, is the only thing we look forward to when we knock off early on a Friday. Er, apart from S Club 7: Don’t Stop Movin’, of course. We knew The Six O’Clock News was turning into something special after Power Cut Day 2000 when the great Huw Edwards referred to it as “the show”, not something Nicholas Witchell would have done.

Among the ridiculous-and-thus-fantastic things we’ve had on this “show” recently include; a big long backroom boys compilation to Liberty X, with all the World Cup rows and injuries and fights and stuff, with captions about “Trevor ‘Air Miles’ Sinclair” and stuff like that. On the news! Huw inviting us to watch on the day of England’s World Cup warm-up with South Korea, as they’d have “highlights” of it. On the news! Mark Mardell doing a story about internet spying, and mock-shamefacedly looking at an Abba website as an example of the “embarrassing material” that might be monitored. On the news! Robert Nisbet doing a teleport story with Star Trek sound effects and “beaming up” effects and stuff. On the news! At the end of one bulletin, Huw saying, “Now we’ll hand over to our good friends, the BBC’s news teams across the United Kingdom.” Our good friends? On the news! Oh, and Darren Jordon sometimes presents, and on the One O’Clock News the other day he said “Time now for the weather with Philip Avery. Philip, you’ve been having trouble with slugs in your garden, haven’t you?” On the news!

Alright, so sometimes they have proper reports on proper news stories, but honestly, the Six has gone nuts, and so we herald Huw as the new Michael Barratt, Darren as Frank Bough, the dreamy Fiona Bruce as Sue Lawley and Hazel ‘Six Sport’ Irvine as Jimmy ‘Sportswide’ Hill. And if they end one bulletin with a comedy song about autocues or something, accompanied by Chris Vacher and Gordon Burns, then the transformation will be complete.
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Tuesday 9th July

BBC1

14.55 Just Good Friends
This’ll never say ‘shit’ and ‘bastard’ at twenty past twelve. Worse luck.

BBC2

10.50 The Ugly Dachshund
More Disney fluff, with Dean ‘Lovebug’ Jones nursing a Great Dane with an identity crisis.

18.20 TOTP2
Back! Back! Back! But still likely to include Steve Wright’s wretched comedy stylings and curious inability to read a date even when it’s on the screen in front of him. Not a bad line-up to come back on, all told, with The Stranglers, Wet Wet Wet, The Wedding Present and Haysi Fantayzee, although they were on a few months back, so it might even be Shiny Shiny. Watch out, music lovers.

CHANNEL 4

10.00 The Silencers
Dean Martin mugs his way through the first of the Matt Helm spy take-offs, in much the same way as he mugs through just about everything else. Stella ‘Flamingo Road’ Stevens, Daliah ‘Casino Royale’ Lavi and, er, Cyd Charisse guest. Of course, the best thing about the Matt Helm films were the trailers and the best of them involved Dino lying on a revolving bed surrounded by leggy lovelies and holding a huge glass of bourbon on the rocks (that’s a plot spoiler, by the way) and saying, “Erm… I wanted to make Hamlet but the producers talked me out of it.” Great, that was.

05.50 Bagpuss

Wednesday 10th July

BBC1

14.55 Just Good Friends
Still, we may get a reference as obscure as that for Ken Livingstone’s advert for Red Leicester, which was the talk of Westminster in 1990.

17.00 Blue Peter
Bloody nora! You thought Monday’s was odd, today we’ve got an Out-Takes Special! What the hell? This is going to brilliant, we’re sure of it, if only because they’re bound to show the sublime bit where Matt and Simon can’t open the studio door while wearing leiderhosen, and piss themselves laughing. And hopefully Matt’s fantastic “Roger Rabbit… er, Peter Rabbit!” followed by the best ‘oops!’ face in the world. Blue Peter is the best thing on telly, full stop.

BBC2

18.20 TOTP2
A cracking line-up today, including The Housemartins, Bauhaus and, at last, Monie Love. Although it’s unlikely to be the fantastic Monie In The Middle, alas.

ITV

20.00 The Spy Who Loved Me
It was all well and truly downhill from here, of course, but *that* Simon/Hamlisch theme song almost makes you forgive them everything. Except Jaws, maybe. And that once-coveted Lotus hasn’t aged very well, either. Barbara ‘Mrs Ringo’ Bach, Valerie ‘Whoever Shot Poor George Oblique Stroke XR40?’ Leon and Jeremy ‘Fett’ Bulloch augment the regulars. What we really want to know is: what’s that crunchy stuff Curt Jurgens is feeding his fish with then he starts to eat it himself? It does matter ‘cos as a child we tried to do the same thing and the fish flakes we used weren’t that appetising to be honest, as the still visible stains on the curtains prove.

23.30 Mary and Rhoda
Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie ‘Rhoda’ Harper reunite 25-odd years on to little effect. This week, ITV’s been trumpetting its deal with ‘troubled’ media giant Universal which lets it show cobblers like American Pie 2 and Ali G, but we know that with all that comes the inevitable job lot of library films, which could just make this channel a bit more interesting on the small hours/weekend afternoon film front than it has been of late. Obvious contenders for networking include the Jaws films, all the Mystery Movie spinoffs, er, the Bionic Woman specials, and disaster pics like the Airport films, Earthquake, and the venerable Condominium: When the Hurricane Struck. But we’d like to see a bit more imagination from ‘troubled’ David Liddiment’s lads and lasses when it comes to sifting through that back catalogue. We’d like to see Two-Lane Blacktop again, for one. Ditto armed-hoodlum-trapped-with-office-workers cheapie The Elevator. Ann-Margaret/John Forsythe delinquent-girl-kidnaps-senator silliness Kitten With a Whip deserves an airing, too. How about a malevolent vehicles double bill of Spielberg’s Duel and the meteorite-posessed earthmover schlocker Killdozer? Or the ’79 version of Dracula, with Olivier as Van Helsing, not to mention Trevor Eve, Jan Francis and ‘Sylveste’ McCoy, scheduled up against risible Dirk Benedict horror effort Sssssnake? Or you could pair cotton pickin’ Richard Pryor multi-role comedy Which Way is Up? with fundamentally flawed but brilliantly designed ghetto-ised Oz musical The Wiz. Any or all of these could be screened in the coming months. Then again, so could all eight Land Before Time films. Come on, ITV!

01.05 Forever
Repeat run of the mediocre series where Andy Darling writes a far-too-wordy script and then delivers it appallingly over a load of videos and Music Box-derived period interviews from a particular year. Kicking off with 1985. Oh, and unfortunately you don’t see any Music Box presenters, Simon Potter fans.

Thursday 11th July

BBC1

14.10 Just Good Friends
It’s a shame the HIGNFY repeats have finished because we were dying to see again the Chris Evans/Fiona Armstrong episode from 1993, which we loved because Chris was our favourite person on telly at the time, and HIGNFY was our favourite programme. And we can’t think where they could possibly put the repeat run were it to return, if it’s unsuitable for daytime. Bah.

23.05 The Real Men Behaving Badly
Where’s The Real Victor Meldrews, BBC? We want to see that for, ooh, all sorts of reasons. Instead we’ve got a tribute to a series we loved in 1995 and despised just three years later, but the history of lads on telly is promised – that’ll be one clip of The Likely Lads, then.

BBC2

10.50 Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown
Yet another postponee (again, we presume it was postponed, unless the Beeb have been taking a leaf out of the Channel Five book of scheduling incompetence), this time from the 3rd April. It’s the one where the gang go to summer camp, complete with raft racing, arm wrestling, and the dreaded queen snakes. In the early ’80s it was possible to watch the whole of this film in two minute chunks spread over three series of Screen Test.

12.05 The Phil Silvers Show
This is OK, but there’s no jokes about The Alliance and BSB in it, which is what we want from out lunchtime comedy.

23.20 The Dave Gorman Collection
We can’t just have included this series in Creamguide in the hope of getting the was-Corpses forum to talk about us for a bit, can we? Well, we have been doing a lot of vanity searches through Google Groups recently.

ITV

03.25 Gaolbreak
Carol ‘Cathy’ White is the sole point of interest in another Butchers programme filler.

CHANNEL 4

10.00 It Came from Beneath the Sea
Ray Harryhausen makes life difficult for himself animating a giant octopus terrorising San Francisco in this stop motion second-stringer. He does cheat a bit by removing two of the tentacles, but it’s still a top effort from the cupboard-bound effects pioneer.

23.35 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights
No qualms about this one, it’s truly brilliant and you should all watch it. And they’re not bleeping out Keith Lard’s name or anything, and what was great about the brilliant apology, which may get another outing tonight, is that real life Bolton fire officer Keith Laird was simply inviting comparisons.

CHANNEL 5

15.40 Once Before I Die
John ‘Bo’ Derek supposedly investigates the horror of innocent youth dragged into war in this WWII potboiler, but gives up on that early on and just takes pictures of Ursula Andress in a shortie nightie instead.

21.00 Shaft
Gaaah! Yet again Channel Five acquire the rights to a major film and immediately schedule it within weeks of it being screened by the channel that had it last (in this case BBC2, May 25th), thus ensuring rock bottom audience ratings. Why don’t they check these things? “It’s a complicated channel, and no-one understands it but its controller…”

Friday 12th July

BBC1

14.55 Just Good Friends
Actually, sort of making up for the HIGNFY repeats disappearing, the Beeb have now scheduled Hollywood 7 on Thursdays, meaning a double helping of S Club each week. We’re not joking, you know, we genuinely think they’re great.

20.55 One Foot In The Grave
This was probably the weakest episode of the last series, but it’s going in here because the great Geoffrey Perkins is in it, and he acts alongside Angus so it’s like having KYTV back on, sort of. And the same episode’s on UK Gold this week. For God’s sake!

01.25 Jack the Ripper
Nicely photographed (diplomatic code for ‘a bit boring otherwise, to be honest’) tale of the Alan Moore-inspiring Whitechapel murders, with John Le Mesurier, Esma ‘Flo’ Cannon, George ‘Inigo’ Woodbridge and Marianne ‘I’d like to cash these cheques, please’ Stone.

ITV

19.00 Star Lives
We’re now getting double Emmerdales on Mondays, purely so Corrie can go at 8.30 and spoil Mersey Beat – which this week, of course, turned out to be useless because Mersey Beat came on late and Corrie was beaten by the tennis. Anyway, it also means that they don’t have a ‘dale for Friday, so instead here’s an interview with Mister Unimaginative Nostalgia Television, David Cassidy.

CHANNEL 4

09.55 A Thousand and One Nights
’40s version of the usual Arabian fare, of note here for the presence of a pre-fame Phil Silvers.

03.00 Countess Dracula
Gaaah! If only they’d shown The Intelligence Men, we’d’ve had another Marianne Stone hat trick this week! Have the schedulers no sense of what’s important? Still, at least Hammer’s back on the agenda, here with the inevitable Ingrid Pitt bathing in virgin’s blood and donning tissue paper ‘n’ latex ‘old lady’ make-up as the Countess Bathory of dodgy heavy metal legend. Anne ‘Knights of God’ Stallybrass, Lesley-Anne ‘Upstairs’ Down and some vintage ‘exteriorising of inner turmoil’ visual effects add to the festivities.

CHANNEL 5

15.40 The Hound of the Baskervilles
Not the Hammer production, but a mid-’80s version with Ian Richardson and Donald ‘Spooner’s Patch’ Churchill as the investigative companions, plus Denholm Elliott, Glynis Barber, Brian Blessed, Eleanor Bron, Martin Shaw and Connie Booth.

21.00 Starsky and Hutch
IT’S THE ORIGINAL PILOT, STARSK!

05.10 Sons and Daughters
And if you got that reference, congratulations.

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DIGI-CREAMGUIDE
The section that asks ‘When did it change from the vaguely sensible ‘Sky Moviemax’ to the bloody-stupid-sounding ‘Sky Movies Max’?”

BBC4
Saturday, 19.30
Pioneers of Television – The billing in the RT makes this sound like a series, but no other instalments appear to be scheduled. And Anna Ford doesn’t have the charm of Tony Currie anyway. Honestly Tony, we do miss you.

Wednesday, 21.00, 00.00
Blimey! – Creamguide stumbled on this history of colloquial language the other night and enjoyed it a lot, containing as it did clips of John Ravencroft on KOMA, David Coleman singing with The Beatles on Grandstand, and Mark and Lard dissecting Bernard Manning jokes. Might be worth a look this week, then.

E4
Friday, 22.00
Takeover TV – Would anyone mind if we didn’t mention this again until we’ve actually seen some of it?

GRANADA PLUS
Sunday, 22.30
The Kenny Everett Video Show – Good news and bad news from G+ this week – this is back on, but they’ve also dropped everything else vaguely interesting from their schedules. Swings and roundabouts, really.

PARAMOUNT
Sunday, 00.15, Friday, 00.00
A Bit Of Fry And Laurie – “It’s just that I get a lot of requests from charities and so on…”

Monday-Thursday, 23.30
Monty Python’s Flying Circus – Next!

SKY ONE
Saturday, 00.00, Sunday, 20.00
Pop Years – We’ve now decided that the best thing about this is at the end of each section when Edith ‘What’s The Deeley?’ Bowman relates what the featured artist has been up to recently, so on the 1984 programme repeated on Saturday we learn that Nena has done voices for a cartoon series and continues to record. A high preponderance of obvious old reference jokes waylaid the show – shame on you, Andrew Collins, for being one of the most common offenders – but in mitigation there’s also clips of Do They Know It’s Christmas? B-side Feed The World, where the singers wished listeners good Christmases over an instrumental version of the A-side, plus the singular world of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, deciding “I might go out and buy that this afternoon” of Frankie’s The Power Of Love and then using knowledge gleaned during her courtship of Nick Rhodes to reveal that the wheel that Simon Le Bon was strapped to on the Wild Boys video got stuck while his head was underwater. 1996 this week, featuring the Take That split press conference, which reminds us of Mark Radcliffe that night playing clips of the press conference with Lard ostensibly asking Gary Barlow “anyone fancy a pint?”.

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Hello, this is Bono, the singer with U2, wishing you a happy Christmas. Creamguide’s listings refer to England except where stated and are all subject to change.
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HONEY TO THE BEE, THAT’S YOU FOR ME
We’ve already gone on to Ask The Family, the TV Cream message board, to express our disgust at the fact the majestic Honey To The Bee by Billie didn’t appear in the TV Cream Update’s 100 (And Six) Greatest Singles Of All-Time, despite specifically requesting it over and over again and making the compiler phone up his answerphone to remind him to put it in. You can moan too, by heading to http://tv.cream.org and clicking on Long Shots. That’s also the place to post all your questions and comments about the thing you’re reading now. We’d especially like to hear from you if you know why our PC now always tells us that our disks may have ‘bad sectors’ on when we boot it up, and if we can solve it without having to run ScanDisk for hours. Oh, and subsribe to The TV Cream Update for more of that sort of thing (the singles chart, not stuff about PCs they’ve never learnt how to use properly in the two and a half years they’ve owned them).
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Unable to make a connection – Chris Hughes, Ian Jones, Simon Tyers

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Sidney Balmoral James

    July 7, 2022 at 6:29 pm

    A great Cream observation here re: Spy Who Loved Me, when Stromberg starts eating the fish food. They also mention him not liking to shake hands, but only I think once do we see why – he has webbed fingers, a detail which might have got more attention but was perhaps left on cutting room floor. Also, why is the supposedly foreign captain of the Liparus played by of all people, 1940s cockney spiv actor Sidney Tafler, which is a bit like having Stromberg played by Stanley Holloway.

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