Initially, the person set to reveal today’s grid reference of a square on our map in which the TV Cream Puzzle Trail treasure is not hidden had a few reservations.
Or, in his own words, “attacks of fright in plenty did I have”.
He eventually agreed to present the clue as long as he could spend the preceding night in a tent on a deserted Yorkshire hillside with six girls as “bodyguards”.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the man who taught himself advanced physics down a mine and who invented the discotheque, Sir Jim’ll Savile:
“So for me, life gets funnier, stranger, faster, fitter, more flash and just more than ever before. People tell me they wouldn’t like to be in my shoes. By this I am mystified but grateful as my present shoes are a sight more comfortable than my pit boots.
“I was once asked, quite illegally, if I would like to drive a full-size, main-line passenger train, and the driver, lulled by my obvious instant expertise, fell fast asleep in the other seat. The Duchess was totally disbelieving of the whole thing.
“A notice for volunteers in the paper brought well over a hundred young lady applicants. Great and monumental times we have had, the ladies and I. Girls have trimmed and trained me up to Olympics standards. My introduction to the sex act was, looking back, a masterpiece of ignorance and excruciating frustration for my unfortunate partner.
“Anyway, the treasure is not in the square what has the clock in.
“That’s about it folks. We can all do good things on our own, but great things when we enjoy Good Company Of. So, God be with you all. P.S. I hope He really does take it easy on sinners! P.P.S. As it ‘appens!”