TV Cream

TV: N is for...

New Statesman, The

RIK “I WAS PAUL SQUIRES!” MAYALL ruled the late-Sunday, pre-Bragg ITV slot in this harsh, tasteless and often fantastic politicom as Alan B’Stard, a Conservative MP who was a crook, an extremist, a liar, a shit, a scumbag, an adulterer and a sadist all rolled into one. MICHAEL “MELLISH” TROUGHTON was his feeble, in-the-womb sidekick/punchbag Piers Fletcher-Dervish, and real life toff MARSHA FITZALAN played the equally vile ‘wronged’ wife, who spent the money and shagged about rather a lot too. Terrific, brutal Commons lobby and office scenes often resulted in blackmail (“Chief Whip, you’ve just made a terrible mistake!”) or violence (“hand in the drawer, Piers!”), while ripping heads off teddy bears; hanging babies out of eighteenth floor windows; kicking over one-legged Falklands veterans and bringing back hanging in public (featuring DICKIE “JIGSAW” DAVIES as the anchorman of the TV coverage) were all brazenly present and incorrect. Inevitable STEVE NALLON cameos as Maggie when required, with other real Tories (Archer, Parkinson, Tebbit) all getting mentioned in unflattering context. Ace chest-beating patriot’s theme courtesy of ALAN “COUNTDOWN” HAWKSHAW, with Mayall surrounded by union flags.

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  1. Applemask

    January 9, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    Theme tune by Alan “Girl in Sportscar” Hawkshaw and Modest “Emerson Lake and” Mussorgsky, to be exact.

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