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TV: J is for...

Juke Box Jury

“HELLO THERE” quoth LORD DAVID JACOBS from behind a giant fuck-off desk, bedecked with a comedy-sized bell (to denote a “hit”) and comedy-sized klaxon (a “miss”) depending on collective opinions of gathered panel comprising – by law – two “experts” and two “celebrities”. In the 60s this meant the likes of ROY ORBISON rubbing shades with THORA HIRD, CHARLIE DRAKE nestling up to DUSTY SPRINGFIELD, HERMIONE GINGOLD perched next to DIONNE WARWICK, KATIE BOYLE shifting uneasily next to JOHN PEEL, and SCOTT WALKER scaring the EARL OF ARRAN. Legendary post-GRANDSRAND fixture for ages, part of supposedly Best Ever Saturday Line-Up (until the next one) of JBJ/DR WHO/DIXON OF DOCK GREEN/MATCH OF THE DAY. FLUFF declared that ‘Living Doll’ “wouldn’t sell a copy”. DAVID McCALLUM said of Pinky and Perky had “a certain charm that pigs don’t usually have”. Died when rock gained upper hand over pop, only returning when situation was reversed in the late 70s, wherein NOEL EDMONDS manned the desk trying to keep JOHN LYDON and FLUFF (again) from having a fight. Died again, showing up for a third time because Janet Street-Porter “thought it was good idea”, with JOOLS HOLLAND presenting from inside his “house”. Mystery guest element gave rise to memorable incident involving GLENN MEDEIROS being roundly trashed before having to come on and fail to take it like a man. Should be due for fourth revival round about…

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Glenn A

    March 11, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    1979 revival featured a man singing a song about his sheep called C’est Sheep, which was surreal to say the least and was not deemed to be a hit, some wit on a vox pop declaring Abba were finished because they hadn’t had a number 1 hit for 18 months( two more were to follow in 1980), and Judie Tzuke being hailed as the next great female singer( one hit wonder, although she had modest success with her first two albums). Also presence of Jimmy Savile in some cape and a crystal ball added a creepy dimension to JBJ’s 1979 revival, even without the benefit of hindsight.

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