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Apache

NIGHTMARE-INDUCING PRODUCTION, shown to kids in school assemblies to learn them of the dangers of arseing about with dangerous farming equipment. Narrated by a teenager and concerning a group of his mates playing on a farm, who proceed to get killed in the most uncompromising manner imaginable for 9.30 in the morning: one’s chopped up in a combine harvester, one drinks some poison, one drives over the cliff in a tractor, and one has his head smashed in by a heavy metal gate post. Beat singing hymns out of Come And Praise, that’s for sure.

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  1. Lee James Turnock

    April 30, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Its proper title was Apaches, because the kids were playing at cowboys and Indians. This half-hour exercise in nightmare-inducing horror was actually directed by John McKenzie, who later directed Bob Hoskins in the Long Good Friday. One of the old blokes from Monty Python’s Crimson Permanent Assurance sketch turns up at the end, as the last dead kid’s grandfather.

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