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Big D Nut Displays

The British public house used to be an establishment of two halves. Turn right as you went in (or was it left?), and you hit the Saloon Bar: a suave, sophisticated, not to mention carpeted, area wherein soft music and plastic pineapples full of ice provided the perfect environment for giggly reps to be bought glasses of Babycham and Calviere by hopeful unemployed-yet-Datsun-owning lads in their best Burlington shirts. On the other side, however, you hit the resolutely all-male, fruit machines-‘n’-Capstan-fog of the Public Bar, the chief signifier of which was an A3 card decorated with a topless Page Three Stunner, her ample charms obscured by twenty-odd packets of Big D (the nation’s number two nut, at least). In the days before Sky Sports, it was considered a prime source of entertainment for prannyish young shavers to ask the barman for two packets of nuts and giggle like idiots at the anticipated location of the subsequent comestible removal. Disappointment often came their way along with the bags of ready-salted, but then the Big D card was little more than a high-salt, high-testosterone advent calendar. Albeit one probably not endorsed by the General Synod.

5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Local Yokel

    February 9, 2010 at 11:12 am

    ….or a cartoon pig,masquerading as a butcher(stripy apron,straw boater).

  2. televisualcabbage

    February 9, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Mmmm… Mr Porky! The favourite of every cornershop everywhere, usually to be found with a full supply still as no-one has brought them owning to being as hard as pebbles to eat….

  3. Jill Sandwich

    July 11, 2011 at 11:59 am

    I’ve seen Big D nut advent calendars in Makro. They still have racy ladies on them but for some reason they have their tops on :-/

  4. Richard Davies

    September 18, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I remember in one of the later episodes of Teenage Health Freak Peter Payne & his friends kept buying bags of peanuts to try & see what the pin up on backing card looked like.

    They ran out of money long before anything of interest was revealed, & got the landlord’s nerves as well.

  5. Applemask

    June 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Albeit an advent calendar celebrating the birth of tits rather than Christ.

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