Yul Brynner is great thundering around in his non-descript accent as a Cossack chief leaping off of horses and chucking knives around and completely unaware that hundreds of years in the future Cossacks would be known mostly for dancing about on the Royal Variety Show and the Wheeltappers rather than doing the Tsar’s strong arm work for him. Rather erroneously his son here is Tony Curtis which is more a comment on the hairdressing abilities of mediaeval Tartars than anything else. The contrast between Brynner and Curtis results in all sorts of familial scrapes as Bernie falls in love and refuses to do the whole rape, ride, pillage, drink and plunder thing. And who can blame him. Yawn, yawn. At this juncture we will now relate our favourite (only) Brynner/Curtis joke: A man walked in to a barber’s and asked for a Tony Curtis hairdo, so the barber cut all his hair off, see. The man said You berk! Don’t you know who Tony Curtis is? And the barber said, I should do, I’ve seen the King And I fourteen times.