TV Cream

Films: I is for...

Impact

From the director of Francis the Talking Mule and starring the bloke who was shite beyond Micklewhite in the first two Quatermass films! Glowing recommendations came there none. But hoooooooold fast, as if you lower your expectations to knee height, his turns out to be a right good courtroom melodrama, in a ‘have it on in the kitchen while you’re making a leek and potato pie’ way. Yes, Robert Donleavy is shit as ever, with his rubbish tache barely moving throughout. Yes, the plot centres around such hoary old b-movie saws as a character with amnesia, and someone jumping out of a car at the last moment before it crashes. Yes, the final ‘amazing’ piece of evidence was improbably still in someone’s coat pocket weeks after the fact. Yes, there was an Oirish poilice officer and Chinese girl who referred to herself in the third person and spoke in a generally stilted manner peppered with ‘honourable’s while the musical score chink-chonked away in the background. But still… well, it had us gripped, what can we say? There’s nothing quite like simple drama done dirt cheap. And that closing narration! ‘Yes, *Impact*. The irresistible force that occurs when two lives collide.’

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