We’ve had a statistician in this morning to help us plot the goodness of the Apes films on a little PowerPoint graph for our forthcoming “What’s Wrong with Films, TV and, While We’re About It, Everything Else” lecture tour of women’s institutes, and it bears an uncanny correlation to those FTSE charts they flash up behind Michael Buerk to signify “trouble in the markets today”. So, while the first is clearly top dollar, the second interestingly bizarre, the third a tad wearying after the first half-hour and the fourth a directionless curio seemingly filmed in Milton Keynes, this one is, well, a bunch of blokes fighting a bunch of monkeys, with a back-covering “epilogue” with John Huston at the end. And! Is the statue of Caesar crying tears of joyful hope, or despair? Or just plain embarrassment?