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Scourge of the establishment. He knew better than anyone the dark, perverted heart beating at the centre of the Catholic church. ‘Of course, it was only the eye of an ox’s head he’d obtained from an Andalucian butcher that morning.’ ‘Fascinating! But I think I’ll stick with Laurel and Hardy, if it’s all the same to you.’ On hearing of a bizarre scandal involving a priest and/or members of the suburban middle classes, say: ‘It’s like something out of Buñuel!’ Nobody will ask you to explain what you mean by this.

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