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Rap’Tou

Rap'Tou crushes that idea!Up until the late 1980s, British TV adverts were properly produced, if often uninspired, affairs. Then, as the 1980s gave out their death rattle, a cheap, nasty-looking, muddy-sounding, seemingly unending no frills abomination appeared in daytime ad breaks in between Home Cookery Club and the revival of Gems, in which an excitable voice-over breathlessly ran through the many kitchen duties that were slightly beyond the bounds of the Rap’Tou, a sort of hand-cranked food processor with a knife attachment and another bit that did something else and a sort of bracket on the bottom. Viewers dimly remembered similarly bare bones ads from the earlier half of the decade on behalf of the mighty Ronco empire, but these were altogether more brash, eager-to-please, and downright un-British, the evangelical voice-over continually asking itself awed questions the audience would never bother to put in a thousand years, only to answer them itself as if the secret of eternal life and everlasting personal freshness had been stumbled upon just in time for part two of A Country Practice. ‘Watch how Rap-Tou deals with this hard-boiled egg! Look! But where’s the shell? Amazing!’ Well, you carry on with that, we’ll just be outside. And that’s not all! Later came attempts to flog a job lot of plastic stacking chairs that had lost their legs by marketing them as The Abdominizer, a rickety-looking gizmo that enabled the lucky punter to ‘Rock – rock – ROCK Your way to fitness!’ After that, the deluge, and British commercial TV now consists almost entirely of depressing tat being flogged by shouty men.

12 Comments

12 Comments

  1. diz

    November 30, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    also known for nicking finger skin with its effortful mechanism-swapping health hazard

  2. shedzy

    February 21, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    where can i view the ad for this, its not on youtube – someone pls get it online quick

    i ned to shred some carrots before part 3 of emmerdale starts

  3. dj

    March 29, 2010 at 6:42 am

    where can i buy one today

  4. bamber

    April 11, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    fist full of fries, or maybe healthy carrot sticks for munchies!

  5. chris

    July 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    “think this ice will jam it? rap tou crushes that idea”

  6. Richard Davies

    August 10, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    I remember WL used to have similar ads for various kitchen gadgets all beginning with magi.. ie. Magican, Magitwist ect.

  7. NOEMIA MARQUES

    October 15, 2010 at 11:45 am

    LOVED MY RAP’TOU, A FANTASTIC GADGET, USED IT A LOTS, UNFORTUNATELY PART OF IT BROKE SOME TIME AGO AND HAVE SINCE BEEN HUNTING HIGH AND LOW WITH NO RESULTS. CAN YOU LET ME KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ONE, ACTUALLY 2, CAUSE EVEN MY DAUGHTER WANTS ONE FOR HER NEW HOME TOO. THANKS

  8. Richard Davies

    October 16, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    I remember seeing this a lot, along with one for a set of Samurai Chef kitchen knives that seemed to be shown evey ad break on Channel 4 during easter 1992.

  9. SJ

    November 18, 2010 at 12:24 am

    I seem to remember the ad going something like “Are you still making shredded knuckles?” (cue person slicing their fingers off on a cheese grater) “Still collecting thingummyjigs “n” knick knacks?” (cue person impaling their hand on various pointy gadgets whilst scrabbling round a kitchen drawer). Then Rap Tou is for you! Yes Rap Tou shreds, grates, grinds and slices… etc…

    Would love to see it again to celebrate its naffness!

  10. NP

    September 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    “Admail 56, Plymouth, PL1 2YP”, everything if it was sold on telly in that way came from there it seems.

  11. D2K

    June 8, 2013 at 6:28 am

    I remember the original Rap’ Tou commercial nearly word-for-word. It used to air on Quantum Satellite Programing every night starting are around 2AM – 5AM in 1990 on my local station in Milwaukee. I remember that, the Kitchen-Mate, Mega Memory with Kevin Trudeau, and the Original Hand-Hammered Wok with a British gentleman. Rap’Tou though was the main event for me. I loved it when that infomercial came on.

    “Are you sick of making shredded knuckles?
    Still wrestling with this expensive toy?
    Still collecting dew-hickeys and thingamajigs?
    Then Rap’Tou is for you!

    Just root it to your counter,
    Attach these steel blades and away you go!
    A whole cabbage easily becomes a car load of coleslaw.
    And you can color it with radishes,
    without raking your knuckles.

    Change blades and you have the three fastest knives in the world.
    Just look at those carrot slices fly.
    Want longer slices?
    They won’t take any longer to make.

    Rap’Tou slices everything.
    And to clean,
    all you do is rinse.

    The third blade can cut through even the hardest cheese.
    Think this ice can jam it?
    Rap’Tou crushes that idea.

    The fourth blade does all your fine grinding.
    Yes, Rap’ Tou shreds, grates, grinds, and slices,
    yet it won’t cut your fingers.

    This machine is easily worth $40 dollars,
    BUT you get a second machine.
    That turns a potato into a fist full of french fries.
    Makes healthy carrot sticks for munchies,
    and look it even makes diced vegetables.
    How’s that for versatile?

    Order now and get our special bowl that fits securely on the base.
    It’s an extra hand that means no more UH OH!
    And you can say UH-UH to $40,
    because you get everything for only $29.95.

    Want more?
    Then watch this potato.
    It comes out mashed,
    but where’s the peel?
    Unbelievable!
    Try it with an egg.
    One push here, egg salad here,
    and the shell HERE!
    A-mazing!

    You get everything complete.
    Both machines,
    the safety bowl,
    and all the attachments,
    for only $29.95
    Order your Rap’Tou NOW!!!!!!!

  12. G

    July 21, 2014 at 12:17 am

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