TV Cream

Cream over Britain

“Switch Off Something…right now!”

It’s pretty clear we’re heading into another period of belt-tightening, sock-pulling, sleeve-rolling, penny-counting austerity.

Already the news bulletins are full of talk of “prices” in a way not seen since what can casually be referred to as The Entire 1970s. Shirley Williams’s “three-shilling loaf” has given way to Harriet Harman’s thirty-shilling French stick. Shortages are going to become the norm. Fights will return to corner shops over ownership of the last banana in the parish. And the cost of operating a three-bar fire will soon reach the equivalent of that legendary benchmark of exaggeration, a trip to Timbuktu.

Hence it’s high time to revive this memorable initiative:

Because there’s not a moment to lose, publicity materials have already been designed, featuring the three “faces” of the campaign: Adrian Chiles (to show it’s OK for blokes to be concerned about saving the planet), Carol Vorderman (to reassure the Countdown generation) and Rolf Harris (because official Parliamentary statutes declare he has to be involved in any state of national emergency).

Look out for these appearing on giant billboards near you soon:

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. steve norgate

    June 16, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Chops and bangers!? Bit much isn’t it? Or are the sassies for the kids while mom and dad have the chops? We need to be told. And what about poepl e who don;t want peas mixed in with their carrots? My mom used to get around that problem with a segments you could insert into the pressure cooker.

    Errr, nice cardy! And I notice they don’t suggest turning the TV to save usage either. “Just one episode of Poldark is equivalent to seventeen thousand spot welds in this Trident submarine”

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