Posts Tagged With 'Patrick Magee'

Final Programme, The

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Maverick pop-art fantasy director Robert Fuest (The Avengers, The Abominable Dr Phibes) is let loose on Michael Moorcock’s time-tripping novel of swinging psychosexual splother, producing a muddled tale of a race to stop the blueprints for a genetically modified Superman falling into the wrong hands as the missiles drop. Jon ‘Counterstrike‘ Finch cuts a dashing cross between Jon Pertwee and Tony Bastable as unstable, black nail varnish-wearing, chocolate digestive-munching fop Jerry Cornelius, and Jenny ‘Jubilee‘ Runacre is fun as the catsuit-clad, predatory Miss Brunner, and there are top guest turns from Hugh Griffiths, Sterling Hayden, Patrick Magee, Harry Andrews and Graham Crowden. But really, as with The Avengers, forget trying to make sense of any fragments of so called “plot” that might happen to be floating about, this is all about the set-pieces.

And what set-pieces. Heaps of wrecked cars along the Thames? Check. Multicoloured poison gas clouds? Check. Underground supercomputer powered by rows of scientists’ disembodied brains? Check. Hypodermic-firing drug pistols? Check. Chic restaurant with in-house wrestling tournaments, with booze served up in little Freeze-pop packets from a tray around Sandra Dickinson’s neck? Check. Picnics with lab-coated scientists in miniature geodesic domes? Check. Fiendishly cryptic Adventure Game-style puzzles involving doors with gigantic vertical chess sets as locks? Check. Giant pinball game featuring women rolling about in those inflatable spheres James Burke used to try out on Tomorrow’s World? Check. Solarised film to indicate the apocalypse? Check. Actually quite good zero-budget visual effects done with a bit of corrugated glass by an optical lab that, when asked to repeat the trick for something else, admitted they’d forgotten how they did it? Check. Hermaphrodite ubermensch revealed as a manicured monkey doing a crap Humphrey Bogart impression? Er, check. The soundtrack? Why, jazz-Moog, of course!

So, we’re not in for a round of incisive character-led examination of the human condition or taut, finely crafted storytelling. So what’s the big deal? Well, we’d argue that a great big wobbly dollop of blancmange is great once in a while. The fact that your average multiplex these days shows nothing but blancmange is part of the problem – ‘once in a while’ is the key. Besides (and this is a matter of taste), there’s a big difference between some off-the shelf readymix packet blancmange and the sort your granny whips up out of various Macmillan-era odds and ends she’s found at the back of the pantry. Both will lay you up in bed for a fortnight, but only the latter lends itself to a good anecdote rather than a sniffy letter to Watchdog. (The fact we’re reduced to making such absurdly overstretched food metaphors is somehow appropriate to this mad film.)

Any hardcore Moorcock fans watching this film will become crosser and crosser throughout, but while it does break the cardinal rule of this sort of thing by playing up its inherent daftness at times, it’s splendid entertainment to watch this misguided film shake itself spectacularly to bits, like one of those Heath Robinson prototype flying machines. Enjoy the journey – just don’t expect to find yourself anywhere convenient when you get off.

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Thriller

Posted in T is for... by TV Cream | 8 Comments »

A SUPERLATIVE anthology of hour-long suspenseful playlets about well-tailored middle class types methodically doing each other in, THRILLER was a textbook example of straightforward, unpretentious telly drama doing its job to perfection. Mastermind BRIAN CLEMENS conceived and wrote most of the six series: forty three stories of suspense and horror, sometimes with supernatural overtones, often with an American guest star on the books for export purposes, always with plenty of plot twists.

The pre-title sequences were reassuringly formulaic, setting the tone for each week’s dose of macabre happenings in, more often than not, a superficially cosy remote provincial setting.. A charming cottage was seen being cased by a sinister type in a Gabardine coat, or maybe a flashy TR7 would pull into the driveway of a well-appointed country house, arousing the suspicions of the gardener. Something was clearly afoot. Then came the credits, a blood-tinged fish-eye lens title sequence with jarring musical chords, signalling ‘suspense’ in no uncertain terms. Corny episode titles belied the finely-tooled drama they would herald. ‘The Eyes Have It’ was a case in point: a daft pun introducing a largely silent, almost unbearably suspenseful tale of blind medical students (including DENNIS WATERMAN and SINEAD CUSACK) thwarting PETER VAUGHAN’s gang of taciturn terrorists. Elsewhere, the likes of ‘Murder in Mind’ and ‘K is for Killing’ served up exactly what they promised, and needless to say, if Clemens could bodge up a title by working the word ‘scream’ into a well-known expression, he did.

Primark Hitchcock it might have been, but the suspense was well-made for all that. Essentially, the series toyed with clichés. Young married couple freshly moved into mysterious rural location, stranger turning up who may not be all he seems, unidentified killer on the loose etc. It was the masterly variations and wrong-footings wrought from these familiar scenarios that made the programmes riveting, even when acting and production values started to exhibit the tell-tale signs of mid-series sag. Quite often, however, there were great performances, both from name actors (witness DIANA DORS’s sinister country nurse, ‘taking care’ of a bed-ridden American diplomat’s daughter in ‘Nurse Will Make It Better’) and those yet to find fame, particularly one that stops everyone in their tracks, HELEN MIRREN as the potential victim (or – ahem – is she?) of serial wife-knobbler MICHAEL JAYSTON in ‘A Coffin for the Bride’. DINSDALE LANDEN’s turn as suave private eye Matthew Earp was so popular he became the series’ only recurring character, when he was brought back for a second episode. When everything came together, as with the endless double-crosses and revelations and a brilliant cast led by PETER BOWLES in ‘The Double Kill’, you couldn’t ask for a better way to pass an hour of prime time.

This was, as you might expect, a very early ’70s kind of intrigue. Try and play a postmodern drinking game, quaffing along with the hero, or taking a sip every time a detective is seen entering a living room refracted in a crystal decanter, or a white shag-pile carpet is stained crimson with blood, or an anonymous black-gloved hand picks up a telephone receiver and slowly dials a very long number, or a blonde American in a trouser suit merrily announces that she’s ‘new in town’ and you’ll be under the glass coffee table before the first victim. And, quite frankly, serves you right. The show signalled its era in other ways: ‘If It’s a Man, Hang Up’ had Clemens’ stock glamorous soubrette-in-peril (more often than not called ‘Suzy’, the significance of which remains a mystery) menaced by an unknown stalker leaving threatening messages on a big, clunky old telephone answering machine. One of the main things mitigating against any modern revival of the programme is the number of plots that revolve around young women not being able to get to a phone box in time, or killers cutting the phone lines to a remote country cottage. In that sense, as well as that of the many swish glass-’n'-chrome bachelor pads dreamt up by the set designers, this is period drama.

They weren’t wall-to-wall classics. Each of the six seasons served up a couple of makeweights and duffers. (As a rule, seasons three and four were the closest to perfection, while five and six became increasingly silly.) ‘File It Under Fear’ was a library-oriented serial kill-in which had JOHN LE MESURIER, JAN FRANCIS and MAUREEN LIPMAN to play with among others, but still fumbled its chance, while mystical entry ‘Someone at the Top of the Stairs’ was fantastic for forty minutes, then ran smack into one of those tediously long-winded explanatory denouements that plague so much bad telefantasy, even if the masterly DAVID DE KEYSER was delivering it (with his fingers placed on the tip of his chin just so). At the very bottom of the pile, ‘Murder Motel’s daffy PSYCHO homage, despite the appropriately-cast RALPH BATES, stank the place out.

Even in otherwise grand entries, Clemens’ unabashed disregard for research (particularly his habit of just sort of guessing what the police might decide to do) got the goat of the more pernickety viewer, along with the inevitable ‘yes, but what about..?’s and ‘hang on, why didn’t she just..?’s that always plague the best laid plots of Agathas and Roalds. Oh, and the dialogue, with the possible exception of one or two Matthew Earp bon mots, never rose, or even aimed above speakable. But even when it was unspeakable, even when the plots were riddled with inconsistencies, and even when the entire set-up seemed like a dead goose from the off (“there’s this professor of Pavlovian psychology, right, and he’s trained some murderous psychos as his servants, and he invites some young students to dinner…”) the twists, turns and sheer gusto of the whole thing kept your attention front and centre, niggling doubts only edging their way in as the end credits wound to a close. Which, Clemens would argue, was his job done.

One thing that initially puts off the modern viewer is Thriller’s directorial style, which, if it could be said to exist at all was very much the old school approach: four days in the studio, one day on location, bash it out, onto the next one. What would nowadays be considered glacial pacing (the long, deliberate tracking shot across an empty room accompanied by sinister oboe cadence was something of a motif, for instance) was integral to the atmosphere. Rather than cut rapidly from shot to shot, the direction took its time, almost taunting the viewer with its creeping progress. When all the other elements were working, a vivid sense of foreboding was the result. Lew Grade’s ITC hired a roster of big names and gave the scripts relatively lavish treatment, but, being mainly studio-bound, with a couple of sets (all of them meticulously dressed, with nary a wobbling column in sight) and a minimal amount of location filming, they look visually primitive these days. However, this simplicity had the virtue of putting the emphasis firmly on script and action, in lieu of fancy camera angles. In fact, the technical limitations had an atmosphere all of their own: the videotaped interiors were claustrophobic and tense, while the grainy, overcast countryside film inserts looked like they could be hiding untold menaces.

Various ITV series followed in kind – the supernatural ARMCHAIR THRILLER and HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR, and the twist-happy TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED, which was the one that ran off with all the nostalgia value, more through being repeated a lot during ITV strikes than anything else – but for sheer no-nonsense cliffhanging effect, nothing beats the original.

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Hordes Of The Things

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Radox The Green, as lovingly rendered by the Radio Times‘THATCHER’-lampooning Yes, Minister-riffing Tolkein parody fun from the pens of ‘APR Marshall and JHW Lloyd’, very deliberately in the style of the Beeb’s own Middle Earth adaptations and calling on the services of heavyweights like Simon Callow, Patrick Magee and Paul Eddington. Widely loved by ‘proper’ Tolkein buffs, which just goes to show that there are some fan groups out there with a sensible attitude to the objects of their affection after all.

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Fiend, The

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It’s missing an exclamation mark, is the title of this film, along with a luxuriant Edwardian moustache on the upper lip of the gentleman exclaiming it. But never mind, for this is a rancid slice of bottom-feeding horror, and all the better for it, if that’s possible. It’s a production of World Arts Media, a grand-sounding company title that of course instantly signals the two-bit, back- office nature of the operation, in the same manner as Global Kebabs or World Books. Pulling the kettle out of the filing cabinet in this particular office is schlocketeer Robert Hartford-Davis, whose Incense for the Damned (you know, Patrick Macnee on a donkey etc.) has been on a loop in these environs before. Anyway, this has rogue priest Patrick Magee heading a murderous cult round lovely old widow Ann Todd’s place, with her son, aka Camp Freddie off of The Italian Job, doing most of the doings-in, and taping the screams in a Hindley stylee. Lovably tatty gospel music comes to the fore on the soundtrack, and there’s a bit where Freddie goes to see Scars of Dracula, but yet again we don’t know whether a clip of Dennis Waterman’s y-fronts is on offer. As ever with a Hartford-Davis, the accent is on untrammelled norks and shoddily-photographed fag-ends of the Golden Age of Military Jacket Wearing, so any fans of both will be on a reasonably even keel.

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Asylum

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‘Come to the Asylum… to get killed!’ Robert Powell ignores this wise tagline as a trainee doctor at the titular establishment, asked by Patrick Magee to interview four patients in order to determine which is in fact the now-doolally former head doctor. And to conveniently provide the four mini-plots in this Amicus portmanteau horror along the way, natch, and so – Richard ‘Robin Hood’ Todd and Barbara ‘Mephisto Waltz’ Parkins are terrorised by frozen chunks of Sylvia Syms, Barry ‘Professor Bergman’ Morse runs up a suspicious suit for Peter Cushing, and Charlotte Rampling and Britt Ekland go head to head in yet another take on the old ‘evil double – or is it?’ chestnut, and finally Herbert Lom terrorises Frank Forsyth with little toy robots with miniature human heads on the top. And, er, Geoffrey Bayldon’s – cough – there, too. Possibly the best, and certainly the most consistent, of these happily frequently screened horror anthologies.

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Another Flip for Dominick

Posted in Play For Today by TV Cream | 3 Comments »

Last chance to see... this many red phone boxes at onceBowing to popular demand, Alan Gibson resurrected his time-travelling milksop for a second adventure, which was shown a week after a repeat of the successful original. Starting – literally – where the Flipside… left off (the opening shot on the future beach is the same shot that ended the first installment), a Christmas dinner chez Hide (complete with A Christmas Carol on the videoscreen, the emotional punch of which Ava finds bewildering, though Dominick and Aunt Mavis can relate to it) is interrupted by Caleb, who sends Dominick back to 1982 to track an AWOL former pupil of Dominick’s, Pyrus Bonnington (researching street crime).

The first thing Dominick does on landing in the ’80s is to visit Jane, now living with their two-year-old son Dominick, and periodically absent muso Duncan, for an emotional reunion. Easing into his “comedy priest” role this time, Dominick tracks down Bonnington and gets him off a drunk and disorderly charge (a fondness for “GoodforyouGuinness” was his downfall). That evening at dinner Duncan rings, and Dominick thoughtlessly answer it, provoking a fight when he voices his disapproval of Jane’s “deception” when she explains him away as “just a friend”. She in turn raises his pan-historical two-timing, and they fight.

Worse, Bonnington is pissed again and is stalking a foreign dignitary abducted by terrorists in derelict building. Dominick arrives too late to prevent him falling to his death. Caleb sends Dominick back to the previous day, to “clean-wipe” the unfortunate events and save Pyrus. Dominick first replays the dinner – having the same conversation with Jane, but in more conciliatory tones. Then he foolishly mentions the “clean-wiping” procedure, and another row ensues, Jane feeling like a helpless toy under his temporal manipulation, and resenting his constant triving for blank contentment (“maybe I like a good old-fashioned bust-up”). Still, he manages to save Bonnington, who returns in Dominick’s saucer. They trace Bonnington’s saucer (which had been towed away by traffic police) to the house of a deranged elderly “boffin” (Michael Gough), who’s been tinkering with it on the Home Office’s behalf, and Dominick leaves in haste just as a government motorcade turns up to examine the craft.

Back home, Dominick has a small bust-up with Ava, who’s taken a shine to the Home Office-appointed virile male “home help”, but Aunt Mavis smooths things over, and, reunited with Ava, Dominick “clean-wipes” home movies of his past son (or rather great-great-grandfather) and finally severs his links with the ’80s.

If this sounds rather aimless compared to the compact quirkiness of the first production, it is. The wry take on relationships and the naivete of a sanitised future gains nothing from being trotted out again, and the Bonnington sub-plot comes and goes in a perfunctory manner. The banter between the two “priests”, the “replayed” dinner scene and Michael Gough are good fun, as is the usual threadbare wit in the visualisation of the future (here we see a dome-heavy outdoors). But the romantic, comedic and even sci-fi aspects are all too bitty, and there’s rather too much of Rick Jones and Meal Ticket this time out.

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, the strength of Flipside… was its splendid isolation – properly respectful of the sci-fi genre, but avoiding its duller vices of plot-for-plot’s-sake and concentration on continuity at the expense of character. Another Flip… fell straight into these traps, and the result was just another sci-fi genre piece – and a substandard one at that.

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Flipside of Dominick Hide, The

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You can put the dinner on, I'll be home in twenty minutesBy Alan Gibson and Jeremy Paul. Zooming over the grey skyline of early ’80s London is a quaint flying saucer piloted by Dominick Hide (Peter Firth), a “correlator” from the year 2130, observing the movements of London buses in order to replace historical records which were destroyed in an unidentified millennial apocalypse. Curious about a great-great-grandfather he understands to be living there, Dominick breaks all protocol and lands his saucer in London, falling haphazardly in love with Jane (Caroline Langrishe), whose carefree, bohemian life puts the sterile domesticity of Dominick’s future spouse Ava (Pippa Guard).

Shuttling back and forth between eras, Dominick manages to exasperate both. Finally, after his saucer is nicked by a travelling funfair, Jane reveals she is pregnant. It slowly dawns on Dominick that he has become his own great-great-grandfather, and what’s more his sinister overseer Caleb Line (Patrick Magee) tells Dominick it was all planned from the start – the anomaly of his parentage had been known for some time, and Dominick was allowed to break the rules to fulfill it. Dominick makes one final visit to Jane, with a bit of financial help for her and their new son in the form of next Saturday’s football pools results.

This has long been a fondly-recalled entry in the series for those of a certain age, mainly due to obvious genre reasons, but it’s perhaps surprising how well it stands up today. Making allowances for the undernourished production design (the tweeness of the saucer is mocked by many citizens of 1980, in a refreshing change from the usual disbelief-suspending shock and awe), it has a story which follows the sci-fi conventions while not forgetting to include real character. Firth as Hide makes what could easily have become an annoying idiot savant role endearingly innocent – the hazards and responsibilities he has to deal with in 1980 are met with perfectly-judged polite confusion.

This makes for both pleasant comedy and unforced pathos – the very qualities which attract Jane and Dominick to each other are also the root of unbridgeable differences. On that level, it’s a simple and fairly conventional romance, which is the main strength of the script – this down-to-Earth focus prevents it running away with grandiose half-baked ideas to which a great deal of ambitious science fiction is all to prone. Yes, it’s a sentimental tale, but sentimentality is what it’s about – the hopeless nostalgia for our present of a future race shorn of all mankind’s animal trappings by the march of civilisation.

Television has mused on the likelihood of technology infantilising us before (Nigel Kneale’s great Year of the Sex Olympics, shown in the Wednesday Play strand), but here it’s realised perfectly – every ‘civilised’ advance Dominick’s era enjoys (eg. sex being a clean, passionless affair after which partners offer a solemn “thank you”) is shown to have emotionally retarding effects in the past (when Dominick chances on Karl Howman and ‘friend’ shagging on a bit of waste ground, there’s no embarrassment or possibly even comprehension about what they’re up to).

The future is indeed a sterile, emotionless void – all plastic surfaces, Muzak holograms, instant dinners and shiny jerkins (although tea appears to have survived the holocaust). It’s not visually impressive, but the script makes that part of the point – while technology is superior, in every other aspect the future world is lacking compared to the present, and it knows it. Thus the production never overreaches itself in the manner sci-fi of a restricted budget can tend to do – the only jarring scene is a long conversation between Dominick and Ava where it has for some reason been deemed a good idea to superimpose their talking heads over each other rather than cut to and fro in the conventional manner.

A wistful theme song from Rick ‘Fingerbobs‘ Jones (fronting his band Meal Ticket) completes this delightful play – certainly not a big-hitter in relation to many of the Play for Today heavyweights, but a memorable and well-written diversion with a little bit more to offer than at first seems.

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Last Window Cleaner, The

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By Ron Hutchinson. Detective Constable Ken Campbell is transferred to Belfast, taking digs in a run-down boarding house called The Crumlin View, populated by an assortment of bizarre and troubled (as well as Troubled) eccentrics, including Patrick Magee, Norman Beaton, John Bird and Pat ‘Play School‘ Abernathy.

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