THAT EXCLAMATION mark says it all. More perspicacious production line period palaver from the pens of David Croft – who with Jimmy Perry wrote the vastly overrated DAD'S ARMY and the endless HI-DE-HI! – and Jeremy Lloyd which never seemed to be off the telly and lasted longer than the war it was “gently lampooning”. Entire premise ripped off from SECRET ARMY. Rene (GORDEN KAYE), a moon-faced smart-alec cafe owner who spoke like someone doing a shit impression of Inspector Clouseau, reluctantly agrees to help the French resistance during WW2. Married to a prickly wife Edith who can’t sing (“Youuuuuu stupid woman!”) but also fancies the arse off barmaid Yvette, but who keeps being distracted by Michelle the “collaborator” (“Listen very carefully, I shall say zees only once”), who keeps trying to avoid the machinations of Gestapo goon with a limp Herr Flick, and Helga the blonde Nazi officer who took to appearing in only her underwear, and the gay Nazi officer, the stupid Nazi officer, British airmen in terribly unamusing inability to escape to “Blighty” and uproarious false accents (“I was just pissing by”), “Mother” upstairs called Fanny with comic ear trumpet, the French policeman next door… Oh, dear god. Entire seasons seemed to revolve around Rene being presumed dead and being replaced with his identical brother (GORDEN KAYE, unsurprisingly), or the location of the Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies, or comically-shaped bratwurst. Each episode opened with Gorden looking stupid (standing in a bale of hay, or appearing dressed as a woman, or appearing dressed as a woman in a bale of hay) and asking us what we thought he was doing. How the hell did we know ? RONNIE HAZELHURST arranged the theme, which didn’t really fit in on account of it being really rather good.Read More
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Creamguide's Pick of the Day
And away we go, now without some tower blocks being blown up but we’re sure it’s going to be an entertaining affair. Brilliantly the Beeb have decided that they had so much fun in the Olympics they fancy doing it all again so as of tomorrow morning it’s on BBC1 non-stop from morning to midnight, with ‘stEnders and Holby punted over to BBC2 again, and BBC3 on air all day, just as it was two years ago. OK, so maybe it’s not quite as prestigious as that event, but any opportunity for a huge TV spectacle we’re going to jump at.
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Points of View
- In 'School book clubs', George White says: "Oh, Gyles Brandreth’s books, I remember because my school library simply had a lot of old Creamy books, Marmalade Atkins, Target WHo..."
- In 'Rentaghost', palimpsest says: "Despite the forced pantomime routines I persisted with it just for the main theme. An apparition quipped from deep inside a crypt."
- In 'Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds', Palimpsest says: "Something… Dogtanian being seduced by a lingerie wearing cat disguised as a monk? And a villain who kept slicing the..."
- In 'Heidi', Palimpsest says: "I’ve heard that this makes up most of the daytime scheduling on Austrian television. Heidi visits the cheese factory, Heidi visits the schnaps..."
- In 'The Children’s Film Foundation', John Harwood says: "“ZOO ROBBERY (1973) Yen-Sen the Yeti (OK, fine…) is stolen from London Zoo, and kids and WILLIAM “DR” HARTNELL..."