ALBION MARKET…with attitude! Stoic attempt to make ITV look all upmarket and posh and pretend that its viewers are aching for a soap opera that crosses TRAINER with SO HAUNT ME. Spoiler: They weren’t. Bonkers plot wouldn’t have looked out of place on MICHAEL WINNER’S TRUE CRIMES. Cross-section of every race, creed and colour lives on a street in Greenwich. They all have humdrum lives, except they don’t, because they all have Hidden Secrets, and when a girl who looks like Sandra Dickinson goes missing, all the Hidden Secrets begin to spew out. One side of the road is occupied, a la STELLA STREET, by a battery of fading faces: Angie off of THREE UP, TWO DOWN, Dorien from BIRDS OF A FEATHER, Sergeant Harriet Makepeace, Dr Who Paul McGann’s brother, one of the prossies on BAND OF GOLD, one half of HE'S PASQUALE, I'M WALSH, and Mike Gambit. On t’other side of street live the Beautiful People, including half the future cast of HOLLYOAKS. They meet in the middle. Much sauciness over the sun-dried tomatoes ensues. As does murder, mistaken identity, mystical visions, a visit from a time-stopping stranger like that bloke off HEROES, and SHANE RICHIE. Originally aired three times a week at teatime, with a fussily-titled “adult” omnibus, NIGHT AND DAY: THE REMIX, once a week after the News at Ten. REMIX subtitle was ditched after just one week. Teatime episodes soon went the same way. Weekly omnibus then slid further back in the schedule until that hallowed must-watch hour of 1am. Final episode fast forwarded four years for no good reason other than to reveal that the girl who went missing on day one had now become – well of course! – a ghost!
Creamguide's Pick of the Day
Jess Cully writes, “Nicki French was certainly our singer the last time the Contest was held in Sweden, but the host city then was Stockholm. The Contest is huge in Sweden and none of its major cities would be allowed to hog the Contest by hosting it twice in a row, hence the choice of Malmo this year. If Sweden wins it again in the near future, expect us to be either back in Stockholm or in Gothenburg.” Indeed, but even though we’ve not enjoyed it quite so much since the Beeb stopped making the scoreboard and got its logo on it every few minutes, we’re still there ready to enjoy the spectacle, and it seems like Graham Norton, for our money probably the best light entertainment presenter on TV at the moment, has been doing this forever.
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Points of View
- In 'Knowing Me, Knowing You… With Alan Partridge', Applemask says: "It’s happening. Deal with it."
- In 'The Collins Cream-ish Dictionary', Paul Bovey says: "Apparently, the “Hah, huh…hoouurgh” in ‘Mama’ was ‘influenced’ by Melle Mel’s cackle in the..."
- In 'Ripcord', Lina B. Umpierre says: "I’m so glad TGG’s bringing the two seasons of “Ripcord” on DVD sets for sale that I’ll jump for joy! Geronimo!"
- In 'Organist Entertains, The', Applemask says: "I didn’t know Nigel Ogden was Metalunan. His show’s still piss-irritating though."
- In 'YOUNG, Jimmy', Applemask says: "It wasn’t enforced at all. He said he was retiring, then changed his mind, but they’d already hired his replacement."