GNOMIC CELTIC ANCHORMAN BOB SYMONDS was your genial host for this Monday night third-rate sportsfest. Opening titles showed proto-Wallace plasticine man jumping out of his bed to the sound of a ringing alarm clock, rushing downstairs and switching on the telly. Typical line-up consisted of some European golf (Belgian Open, usually), a bit of boxing (the WBO straw-weight championship from the Philippines) and a round-up of the weekend’s goals from Portugal.
Creamguide's Pick of the Day
I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor tonight, which allows us to mention that when it got to number one, Calendar showed a clip from its Whistle Test-inspired video and captioned it “amateur video”. In fact that video was the first we’d heard of them or it, when it was shown on Popworld in fact, and we never thought the record version was quite as good because it was a bit overproduced. Anyway, it’s included here because it started bands being broken via the internet and that rather than the major labels and Top of the Pops.
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Points of View
- In 'Sixty Minutes', Applemask says: "Complete failure on the graphic designers’ part to make the letter S look like the number 60."
- In 'Xerxes', Applemask says: "Xerxes himself is now the founding leader of the pro-prohibition Liquor Party, who came thirteenth in the last Swedish General Election. Good fact."
- In 'Jonny Briggs', Applemask says: "Could never understand a word these Northern people were saying. Nothing to do with Mike Baldwin either."
- In 'Jimmy Will Fix It', Applemask says: "Jim’ll Fuck It"
- In 'PICK OF THE DAY', Gerry Dorrian says: "He was a classic on TotP with the girls, wasn’t he?"