AHOY THERE! STILGOE on the starboard bow! Not Rich’s finest hour, admittedly, reduced as he was to mere quiz show host rather than pithy piano-wielding minstrel or whimsy wizard. Proceedings not helped by contestants comprising snotty grammar school kids playing computer battleship, though at least they always looked twats having to go “Foxtrot four!” and “Charlie seven!”. Does pick up some pity points, though, thanks to – yes! – Stilgoe-composed theme played live on Yamaha keyboard (which the man had fitted in his nifty customised presenter-desk) and sung heartily by author himself.