Very much a cross between George Hamilton and Robert Carrier.
WE'VE BEEN treated to a succession of vehicles for Scouse stand-up and self-styled "Mr Clean" Tom O'Connor down the years.
TEA-AND-SLIPPERS SLEUTHERY, best taken over doilies and Darjeeling, if not Lucozade and egg soldiers.
DOWNSIZED DERRING-DO from the Infernomeister
"I SOMETIMES hate this bastard place."
PISH TOY-FLOGGING sword and sorcery cartoon.
"PLEASE, LET us have no racialism!"
ACE-TITLED SURBUBACOM with RONNIE CORBETT (playing a character called Ronnie) married to ROSEMARY LEACH
WELL-REMEMBERED if pretentiously-titled Gallic historicals.
SUPERLATIVE GREY CELLS weeknight workout, hosted by the unflappable Uncle GORDON BURNS in a quest to find "the UK's superperson".
EXECREABLE ECCENTRIC with show-off retractable limb assortment and punchable face.
Main, indeed for a time only, plank in ITV's half-built semi-bodged creaking edifice of a breakfast television service
THE FORMAT might have been through the mill countless times, but when it got itself sorted, this was close to the best...
SYBIL FAWLTY lives one floor below the snooty one off PLEASE, SIR! and one floor above someone who looks and sounds like...
INSIPID CARDBOARD jungle-set mincing with the rotund campmeister’s rotund campmeister, CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS. The actual content is thankfully lost in the mists of...
RUMBUSTIOUS ROARATHON from pretend working man's establishment somewhere in the north of England
NEITHER AGE nor any number of middling Martin Clunes-based rehashes shall wither the legend of Robin Tripp
IT CAME from Norwich.
CRAVAT-SPORTING CREEPERY of the yowser roisterer shafer-me-lad kind.
THORA HIRD, as usual playing herself, is an undertaker in a bluff, gruff, "take me as you find me" Lancashire funeral firm...
NUPTIAL-ENDORSING NONSENSE which, were it still running today, David Cameron would've co-opted as party policy within seconds (SATIRE).
APTLY-TITLED SUNDAY evening miserycom, reworking bits of Take It From Here off of the radio.
SLAPSTICK STETHOSCOPE SAGA
GRANADA'S BIGGEST-SELLING situation comedy.
UNBELIEVABLY TARDY travails of cut-out couldn't-be-arsed feline.
Three patients spend four years in hospital even though there's absolutely nothing bloody well wrong with them.
THE ONLY thing unexpected about them being, of course, the identity of the uber-celebrity playing the part of the doomed protagonist this...
BY THE KIDS, for the kids!
The ultimate in parlour game riddle-me-ree telly
MULTI-AWARD WINNING gloves-with-eyes
ASPEL-HELMED LONDON-ONLY weekend-starting magazine
WOBBLY FRIDGE magnet letters and tadgerish geometric cartoons began this pretentious sci-fi supernatuum about two elemental agents...
MORE OR less the only Gerryatrics of note from the 80s and the only outing for, ahem, Supermacromation aka glorified glove puppetry.
SONG AND DANCE retooling of JB Priestley yarn
DEREK "NEW Faces" Hobson hosted this dogathon of a programme, boasting Yorkshire terriers heeling, going over little see-saws and so on.
WILL AND JOE need a new hit and fast.
BAFFLING MINI-SERIES about the discovery of a mini-society living in a cruise liner on the bottom of the sea since World War...
AND BY a quirk of fuck-you fate, here's more Mollie.
ANDREW SACHS contracts a previously unknown fatal illness and dies slowly, while JUDY "GOOD COMPANIONS" CORNWELL looks on. Sitcom.
ABSOLUTELY DIRE musical comedy vehicle for evergreen band KID CREOLE AND THE COCONUTS
EARLY SIGHTING of Professor Phil Redmond's obsession with Telling It How It Is
DAVID "PERRIN" NOBBS-penned laugh-light effort about marketing men and (hey!) women.
SHABBY SITCOM made during the Three Day Week, and it showed.
THIS IS more like it; a TAKE-monikered effort with a bit of class, namely MICHAEL MILES proffering the titular conundrum between "money"...
DONALD "SPOONER" CHURCHILL mugs and frugs to high heaven as a HUGHIE GREEN-esque shagging, cheating bastard game show host.
IN THE Kensington sky.
PLAY AWAY'S JULIE STEVENS and DENISE COFFEY are two bored housewives looking for "additional" action. Derek Wilton - yikes! - obliges.
ROTTEN PETE'N'DUD roustabout done for the third channel purely for a) Lew Grade money b) to give Lew Grade something else to...
TOP HOLE Bond spoofery by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry