THIS IS the entry for the long-running American sitcom HAPPY DAYS (CUE DEAFENING AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING WHICH GOES ON FOR FIVE...
FORGOTTEN INHERITANCECOM with JENNIFER SAUNDERS as ageing dame.
CHILDCENTRIC FIFTEEN minute afternoon filler.
"BUT IT'S got pipes in!"
EXCEPT IT was mostly the Hardy Boys who appeared after those odd close-up-of-manhole-cover titles.
IMPRESSIVE RONNIE B. cavalcade
NOVELTY BASKETBALL bunch with annoying whistley theme tune do battle with basketball-playing robots, or something.
STITCHED-TOGETHER SILENT shorts
GLOOMY THRILLER, another spin on the we're-all-doomed pitch
CRIME FIGHTING jet setter rich git ROBERT WAGNER is Jonathan Hart ("He's quite a guy!") while STEPHANIE POWERS is his missus Jennifer
NOT TO be confused with RUSSELL HARTY the show (not the man), for which see, erm, RUSSELL HARTY.
MILLINERY FILMFAIR fun
BIG FUCK-OFF bran tub of real-life disasters
FOLLOWING PHIL "BUSTER" COLLINS's example, entire world criminal fraternity emigrates to island paradise.
MEAN-STREETS SAAAAHF LANDAN PI
PISH TOY-FLOGGING sword and sorcery cartoon.
DOUBLE JEOPARDY and no fucking mistake.
DEREK GRIFFITHS at the peak of his powers
THUNDEROUSLY DREADFUL cat and dog cartoon double-header
DUBBED DOPEY Gallic glove puppetry
SMOOTH-TONGUED SORCERESS sat about chanting while "Broom" did domestic chores and "Black Cat" grudgingly supplied endless whiskers for making spells.
Infamous school holiday-spanning serial of War And Peace proportions
ALLISON FISKE divorces hapless MARTIN SHAW.
NEO-PERRINITE PALAVER penned by David Nobbs
A BIZARRE ONE and no foolin'.
Yet more mangy mutts from Hanna-Barbera's lost weekend that was the mid-70s.
IFFY SCOUSE povertycom which earned its spurs by dint of not being BREAD.
BAFFLING EARLY C4 kids show (weren't they all?)
TO BE FRANK, after ROOBARB and NOAH AND NELLY a bit of a comedown from the Godfrey studio.
SUBLIME SONG-ORIENTED stop motion from PADDINGTON/WOMBLES stable.
MARIONETTE ESCAPADES of a boy elephant
LOLLOPING LASSIE/LITTLEST HOBO heroic dogathon, only this time - hey! - the dog commentates on the action!
ROTTEN COMEDIC perambulations by CHRIS HARRIS
AND SO WE REACH the bottom of Hanna-Barbera's beleagued barrel.
XYLOPHONE-WIELDING THREE-NOTE monster
LONG-SERVING domesticated whimsy cavalcade and major player in ITV's 1970s children's lunchtime slot shake-up from Granada.
BLATANT COPY of same station's BONANZA, but none too shabby for all that.
FRIGHTFUL FRIDAY evening non-comedy
HARRY SECOMBE buys a Senior Citizen's Railcard
MULTI-WHEELED FUTURISTIC private dickery
UNTROUBLING UNCTIONS from a MARTI CAINE trying to make everyone forget about her cabaret credentials and instead concentrate on her acting acumen.
In a nutshell: Douglas Adams's visionary mix of 2001, PG Wodehouse and a physics A-level paper compiled by Stanley Unwin gets totally...
QUITE POSSIBLY the dullest quiz show of all time.
ALMOST UNIQUE nightclub-based Saturday night marathon passing quickly into pub-bound TV legend.
HOMER SIMPSON-IDOLISING Hunathon involving dopey Nazi kommandants getting their arse kicked by wise-cracking wacky Yanks for 168,000 episodes.
KIDS SLAPSTICK teatime affair
DON SPENCER puts words into the mouths of two shitty puppet doll things who are continually up to mischief.
CYNICOID YARN following fortunes of newspaper sports writer
BRAZENLY BONKERS kids comedy from the loony pen of DENISE "DO NOT ADJUST" COFFEY