PYRO PUDDLE-SPLASHING, cardboard box-barging, "cover me!"-shouting, gun-held-with-both-hands, barrel-up-nose-having adventures
ODDBEAT ODDMENT of a kids' semi-educational series about building and architecture.
OZ IMPORT for kids screened in (sigh) two-hour segments.
ONLY ONE problem, to be fair.
NOT UFO, mind; instead, a keep-watching-the-skies spookarama that always began with a UFO "visitation" on a hick redneck Southern town.
EAST-END DESOLATION, Thatcher-style.
NOT TO be confused with THE PERSUADERS, THE PURSUERS or, indeed, THE PROTECTORS
ERSTWHILE SEARCH FOR A STAR starlet searches for star quality with less than star-studded sketch shambles.
LONG-DISTANCE SHODDINESS from ALFRED BURKE
A DASH of MOONLIGHTING and a soupcon of GARRY SHANDLING stirred together then strained with Auntie cost-cutting relish
MICHAEL ELPHICK, fresh from botching up the German invasion of Britain (see above), decides instead to settle down for a quiet life...
LENNIE BENNETT (of LENNIE AND JERRY) helmed this flimsy half-arsed rip-off variation on Hollywood/Celebrity Squares.
IS THERE room in your cold, mean old heart for an adorable lost little girl and her dog? No, of course not.
TREACLY STEW of canine comradeship
Another DOIG delight, and an interactive one to boot.
LATE 80s MORNING TRANSPOSITION for mid-80s annoyingly sturdy triangular playing field
MUCH LOVED BBC popular science series that seemed best served when stuck out after the NINE O'CLOCK NEWS.
MILLIGAN MULLARKEY which bemused most (including the Beeb) but delighted enough to keep it being recommissioned despite the same things showing up...
A BIT LIKE SCRUPLES. In fact, a lot like Scruples. But with MATTHEW KELLY.
SPACE NONSENSE about an intergalactic dustman.
THE ESCAPDES of NIGEL "KINVIG" KNEALE'S phone-book-named uber-scientist.
DOZEY BOFFIN with big head is nabbed.
Regal communique from Commonwealth-manufactured mahogany writing bureau doubling as traditional televised post-prandial leg stretch/retire to the other room interlude.
KEITH WATERHOUSE and WILLIS HALL-penned palaver for DIANA DORS
KURT RUSSELL dons statutory small screen Wild West outfit and steps out into the dust to look for his long lost sister.
"SPORTING WIT AND BADINAGE", as Ceefax often had it
UNCOUTH VERSION of Radio 4's Any Questions, only with pictures.
RAMBLING SATURDAY ramble through laughably watered-down Swinging Sixties
WEEKDAY AFTERNOON siestathon hosted by LORD BOB MONKHOUSE
SO SO thriller filler based on famed torture-proof creation of US writer Elleston Trevor
"GENTLEMAN, YOU are about to enter the most fascinating sphere of police work."
INSANELY COMPLICATED parlour game panel joust
ONE-TIME NORTH WEST-ONLY, then nationwide, shamblathon hosted by the mighty STUART HALL (in contractual obligation mode).
HIGH-FALUTIN' MACHINE-TOOTLIN' tribute to that most ubiquitous of 1960s freestanding studio sets, the Government Research Laboratory.
LESBIONIC BIKER gang hold up a wedding ceremony, then turn up in 1700s period costume to do an opera.
OIK'S DRAMA set in local kids radio station called Radio Phoenix and written in part by FRENCH and SAUNDERS.
CRAVAT-SPORTING CREEPERY of the yowser roisterer shafer-me-lad kind.
EARDRUM-BATTERING COMEDY OF the working class woman from RONALDs WOLFE and CHESNEY.
LITTLE-SEEN AND less-remembered stop motion toy triviality.
MUCH LIKE the above, except with scores of 'em instead of the one.
WRETCHED WITLESS whimsical game show boasting a triumvirate the like of which could only have been dreamt of
MEDIOCRE STUDENT T-shirt industry.
DOES THE name BABCOCK POWER CONSTRUCTION ring a bell?
ACE DEAD detective capery with KENNETH COPE Rentaghosting about in a Martin Bell suit, and the hapless MIKE PRATT as his earthbound...
ORDINARY BLOKE (GLYN OWEN) gets coerced into working for sinister baldy with steel-rimmed specs (PHILIP STONE) whose boss is GERALD "KAMELION" FLOOD.
FRITTERSOME FIVE-MINUTER about a group of rats living in the skirting board
ALL YOUR usual HTV nonsense
DEFINITIVE TAKE on the telly Western
COMMERCIAL CHIP off the CHEGGERS block.