ONE-OFF PRETEND conspiracy documentary about the supposed disappearance of super-intelligent citizens.
Your familiar "home study kit" suggestion box for making the most of the wildlife "in your own backyard".
THEY REALLY needn't have bothered.
OLD HAT blue and red swingy leotard bloke
WEIRDO SPECCOID Canadian mind reader who turned up for about ten minutes with confusing and unimpressive mind trickery.
LITTLE-KNOWN SEMI-EDUCATIONAL morning cartoon filler which began with the moustachioed titular prof in his lab introducing a wacky, sub-Wilf Lunn invention to...
"HELLO, I'M CASEY KASEM," beamed the garishly-sweatered host at the start of this imported Billboard countdown-cum-cheap syndicated overnight time filler, standing behind...
NUTS AND BOLTS RE-HEATING of NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN
OUR FIRST SIGHTING in this A-Z of the sainted STILGOE.
BOLD TWILIGHT TIME escapades for Fen-dwelling insomniacs.
Half-hearted HEADS AND TAILS wannabe plus dreary animation.
BRITISH VERSION of the BANANA SPLITS, where none was really needed.
MILD-MANNERED MENAGERIE of human foes masquerading as zany zoo awareness initiative that went the way of, well, zoos.
Soft-spoken grey haired bloke proceeds to show us exactly how to draw bird/fish encounter.
ABOVE AVERAGE ISLE of Wight euromance
DRAMATISED VERSION of THE GOOD LIFE with home computers.
A DEVOUTLY devolved kids' talent contest.
AUSTRALIAN EPIC re-telling sterling Oz exploits in World War One.
NIGHTMARE-INDUCING PRODUCTION, shown to kids in school assemblies to learn them of the dangers of arseing about with dangerous farming equipment.
ONE OF THE BEEB'S many 1970s Mediterranean thrillers bundled out during winter to cheer people up and which made no sense whatsoever...
THE HAIRY cornflake himself, DAVE LEE TRAVIS, presented this timely one-off anthology of hoaxes and ruses for kids.
LIFE IN THE most uncommercial, threadbare-looking department store in the world
"CAIRO? CAIRO? One. One! One way! Yes, just one. One way!"
"Hey, I've got a great idea for a cartoon! Why not take some old classic book, one that's out of copyright, and...
THE TEST CARD? PAGES FROM CEEFAX? Bugger that - C4 had its own special way to pretend it was still broadcasting even...
ONE GREAT big monster of a weekday afternoon craftfest.
FUCKING ODD (and slightly laughable) pretentio-fest 'bout - yes, it's the eighties - an apocalyptic war
DOTTY SCI-FI guru and thing inventor introduced this "crazy world" series.
MUDDY REWORKING of sprawling Arthurian swordsplay with OLIVER TOBIAS as The Nation's Hero.
SHOESTRING SPECTACULAR from a time when pointing a camera at anything and allowing people to see it was somehow the most thrilling...
A COUPLE of billion years squashed into 13 episodes and a cross-hatched jacket with leather elbow patches.
WITTILY TITLED Sunday morning sub-continent news magazine.
THE GREAT ASP appeared in front of a giant balsa and Fuzzy Felt (TM) speech bubble.
WEIRD AS you like JOHN JUNKIN-fronted celebrity panel game, in the time-honoured weekday 5:15 ITV mould.
THE HOME COUNTIES' most preposterously erudite home-owners starred in this audience-free parlour-esque intellectual joustathon.
TOUTED AS ITV's premier chat bunker
ANGLO-YANKEE LATE night comedy from the Four's early days
GOSCINNY AND Uderzo's pint-sized French pugilist and nemesis of the Roman Empire
THREE ASTRONAUTS live in first-ever all-British space station, interrupted in their musings by US ground control boss called Beadle.
SEMINAL FIVE MINUTE episodes in life of friendly cartoon purple teardrop-shaped antenna sporting Astro, plus long-suffering Earth "pal" Oscar Mild.
THE SCOURGE of many a small child struggling to learn an outsize musical instrument.
ODD CARTOON short about an accident-prone sort of orange testicle-man with big floppy nose, who had various stereotypical adventures.
ENDURING TRAGICOM FROM THE pens of Likely Lads Clement/La Frenais
BASICALLY WHAT it says.
Pretty much arse, really.
THE FORMAT might have been through the mill countless times, but when it got itself sorted, this was close to the best...