In the year British television served up the mighty nuclear fallout frightener Threads, Hollywood rounded up some of its regulation twentysomething ‘teenagers’...
This black and white college Satanism third-stringer is of interest more historically than horrifically, being the first de facto horror production from...
The great down side of Elvis movies, of course, is that they take up valuable mid-afternoon slots where the likes of Carry...
Harryhausen’s effects swansong and a rather sorry end for the noble tradition of stop motion monsterism, it must be said. The Medusa’s...
So. Cleopatra, then. Well, well, well. Erm. Did you know it cost rather a lot of money to produce? Heh! Tum ti...
Let’s be honest here, now the thing’s out in the open for all to see at the push of a button, and...
It’s paddles up for Jose Ferrer, canoeing into Nazi-occupied Bordeaux for some wartime shipyard sabotage with Trevor Howard, Anthony Newley, Dora Bryan...
“When he pours, he reigns.” Groo. About as well thought out as that strapline here’s Tom Cruise as a cretinous, ungrateful little...
Another reminder that Michael Crichton books used to make half-decent films. Michael Douglas infiltrates a Boston hospital to find an organ-harvesting scheme...
Political predicaments at Richard Burton’s Papa Doc Posthouse in this reliable Graham Greene adap, with The Burt knocking a block booking from...
Boozy, spouse-bashing Vincent Price and Peter Lorre run an undertaking firm, but business is slow so when Shakespeare-quoting landlord Basil ‘The fish...
John Junkin accidentally writes "TITS" on a blackboard
Third of the four-strong (‘strong’? Hmm) Askwithian series, with yer cheeky protagonist and old Noggit Booth using a rather unconvincing driving school...
It’s everybody’s favourite Confessions film, this one. That is, among those who have favourite Confessions films. Jill Gascoigne! Rula Lenska! Star Knockers!...
“This is your life, Timmy Lea…” The original Confessions film, in the sense of the first of the series rather than noticeably...
In a film where John Wayne is acted off the screen by his fake ‘tache there’s not much to be had here....
Violence, budgetary strain and a set that looks like a ’70s shopping centre (actually the Milton Keynesian Century City studio complex) all...
Eligible Yank totty Liz Taylor falls for dashing soldier Robert ‘The Man with the perfect Profile’ Taylor (no relation, in fact we’re...
"I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH BIG BALLS! AND I'M FROM CHICAGO!" I'M SORRY, WHAT?
Thrills, spills, action and adventure in this roller coaster of a movie…only joking! I’m being facetious of course as we believe they show...
More crime capers, but this is serious blaxploitation fare, with a hamburger seller, a clotheshop owner, the obligatory loaded businessman and a...
Socialist auteur Ken Loach’s Cathy Come Home broke seven shades of new ground for reality-based crusading social drama. Decidedly un-socialist auteur Pete...
We only really ever watched this as junior film reviewers because Herman Munster was in it, and to be honest, he’s still...
Of the twenty-odd versions that have been made of this aristo-revenge chestnut, this is about the sixteenth, courtesy The Lord Thy Grade,...
Hammer’s back with the inevitable Ingrid Pitt bathing in virgin’s blood and donning tissue paper ‘n’ latex ‘old lady’ make-up as the...
‘Flowers are smiling bright/Smiling for our delight…’ An ailing Charles ‘Charlie’ Chaplin takes an abysmal lurch into colour, directing Marlon Brando as...
Ageing, labcoated Dana ‘I seen ‘im! I seen ‘im!’ Andrews and plucky daughter Janette ‘Double Bunk’ Scott fail to mine ‘the untapped...
Not to be confused with the Doug McClure adventures, this is a grunt ‘n’ shove caveman flick, made soon after One Million...
A title like that is asking for it really, isn’t it? Were this Alan Coren-era Punch, we’d feel compelled to conjure up...
Ken Russell had a ‘quiet’ ’80s after the flopping of Altered States, which included this encounter between proz Kathleen Turner and priest...
Ken Russell makes a triumphant return to the silver screen with the usual raincoat-clad soft porn and neon shenanigans from that brief...
Excellent furry lunacy with the eponymous things darting about eating shit kickers left right and centre before being captured and confined to...
It must be a source of eternal embarrassment for staid Old Salopian Richard Ingrams that Private Eye, via Barry Humphries and Nick...
Contrived bobbins which is fairly preposterous from the opening shot containing the gag about him fishing with dynamite in New York harbour...
People tend to remember this as a Sid ‘n’ Babs romp, but it’s Ronald ‘Don’t talk to me about unemployment, young man’...
It’s laughs galore in this true tale of Lindy Chamberlain whose baby was taken during the night by wild dingo’s in the...
Surfing movie from what the TVT defines as “the late, lamented seventies”. Assorted Californians fall in the water to the soundtrack of...
This was the first Stephen King book (as well as the first paperback with an embossed cover – classy!) Creamguide (films) ever...
Polanski’s bizarre comic psychodrama, with a cross-dressing Donald ‘perfectly’ Pleasence and Catherine Deneuve’s big sister as the original odd couple whose remote...
Gawd. Now there are no more clips to raid, Edwards finds he has to think fast (the simpler option of just not...
Hammer ring the horror changes on two fronts – swapping the usual indeterminate Carpathian locales for a Mediterranean feel, as the cast...
“The Great Love Story of The Great War”. Now, we always thought it was the First World War that got called the...
Yay! The better of the two Cushing films, we say, with grim London-based apocalyptic violence, Ray Brooks and, of course, your very...
We figure this film has inspired more lager adverts than any other, to whit that Carling Black Label one and, of course,...
We’re still flogging this theory that the middle film of a trilogy was always the best – or was it the worst? On...
Button-down sergeant George Peppard and wayward comrade Jan-Michael Vincent drive specially-constructed armoured cars across a post-nuclear wilderness of giant cockroaches to a...
Bryanston Films, who gave us Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, A Taste of Honey and, even more excitingly, Double Bunk, as well...
Drunkenness, bar-room brawling, death and love triangles may not be what most people expect from a Disney live-action feature, but they’re all...
This story of wartime reminiscence amongst concert party veterans stars Terry-Thomas and Norman Wisdom, in what we reckon must have been his...
The Marx Brothers’ second MGM outing, this, very much in the mould of Opera format-wise, and subsequently talked down as its inferior...
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