This month’s Word magazine contains ostensibly definitive inventories of both the best and worst Christmas songs of all time. But as usual Fairytale Of New York is in the wrong list.
Why this wretched dirge of a tune – “two drunks shouting”, in the words of Neil Tennant – repeatedly fails to not be nominated as one of greatest festive anthems ever is a mystery. You can’t hear the words. Both vocalists compete in a grisly battle to outdo each other in terms of ear-shredding histrionics. It was covered by Ronan Keating. And it goes on for about half an hour.
Where Word has got it right, though, is placing War Is Over* by Johnandyokonolennon in the ‘bad’ list. Nobody wants to be lectured at over a mince pie**.
*(No It Isn’t)
**Macca’s sublime Wonderful Christmastime, however, doesn’t make it into either chart, despite being effortlessly hummable, deceptively simple, and not having any choirs of kids or the missus wailing in the background.