TV Cream

A bit of business

The Creamguide 24: slight return

A few retrospective comments from some good folk.

“I thought,” emails one anonymous reader, “I’d dreamt the bit about Sarah Kennedy’s scotch egg (she only managed half!) which is why I came across your site by Googling ‘Sarah Kennedy’ + ‘Scotch egg’.” It’s true.

“I was first introduced to Sarah’s inimitable style about two years ago,” they continue, “and have been constantly amazed ever since as to how she can be allowed to continue broadcasting. She is clearly mentally ill.

“Usually I get up as late as possible to minimise the amount of SK I have to listen to at a delicate hour. However this morning I awoke at 6.30 and was subjected to more than the recommended daily dose. I was trying to relay the highlights of the show to my other half, and they were pretty much the same as yours – the Independent climate-change skipping, summarising a piece of news as “you can’t smoke in your house.. for half an hour…”, newsreader trying to get out of going to Wimbleydon with her, and, spectacularly, the scotch eggs and ants incident.

“Describing her sideboard and the trays thereupon and how she was fattening up by eating half a scotch egg. Truly mindblowing.”

Indeed. And there’s more. All too much more.

“Sorry to inform you,” says Scroggill, “but, yes, Radcliffe and Maconie reading the news was the best bit of the show. If I remember rightly, the headlines featured lots of sandshoes being found in a hollowed-out tree stump somewhere, and a re-appearance of Mohammed Al Fayed in the guise of a Mexican, reporting that Harrods was now completely out of purple Y-fronts due to the massive demand caused by Prince buying some earlier.”

Lastly, this from another anonymous correspondent: “It’s an honourable idea, but why torture yourself by doing the whole 24 hours in one go? Why not do 12 hours (00:00-12:00) one day and then 12 hours (12:00-00:00) the next? I mean, it’s not going to be much of a difference, considering the ‘stripped and stranded’ nature of radio broadcasting.”

Fair point, but I was trying to stick to the template as originally essayed by Select magazine in 1993, which was, as much for the sake of novelty as anything else, doing the whole lot in one go. The thing was always meant to be as much about what was on the radio as my reaction to and appreciation of what I was hearing.

“Sleep well…” they added. I did.

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