TV Cream

TV: W is for...

Win, Lose or Draw

FLOWER IN THE DIRT of much that was daytime. Pictionary rip-off for celebs in a notional “front room” set with sofa (for the men) and floor cushions (for the women) plus drawing board, but all of that was secondary to the genuinely entertaining vim, whimsy and patter purveyed by our hosts. Best was DANNY BAKER, who explained the rules in typical manner (“It could be a very simple title like Kickboxer II, or it could be something very complicated, like ‘Mother of mercy! The squid! She no longer responds to mind control!'”) while dishing out yellow “sticks” as warnings for using hands and mugs of pretend money for whoever correctly guessed a demented trivia question. Second best was BOB “WAISTCOAT WEDNESDAY” MILLS. A member of the public bolstered each team and provided source for regional quips. Worth remembering for latent speed-drawing genius lurking within TOMMY BOYD. Worth forgetting is wretched “late and lewd” revival in 2004.



  1. televisualcabbage

    April 9, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    The Bake made this shown his own, always cheery and made an IKEA based set look like the type of place where you would want to do for a game of Pictionary at a party…

  2. gareth jones

    April 9, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    bob mills was my favourite and and im surprised they didnt run out of cards when tommy was drawing in the speed round at the end.being a left hander myself it always amused me when bob did his dance to the other side of the board when a leftie had to draw,and the cartoons of the celebs at the beginning plus the music for the clock were great,i could go on and on,a daytime gem.

  3. gareth jones

    April 9, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    oh btw im not ashamed to admit i recorded this every day!!

  4. Applemask

    April 10, 2010 at 11:54 am

    It probably seemed like a good idea on paper to let the contestants drink and allow them to swear, but in the end it turned out to be twice as depressing as Ken Loach’s Kes for reasons impossible to articulate.

  5. Applemask

    April 10, 2010 at 11:55 am

    But at least the late night version didn’t star Darren Cocking Day, like the kid’s show incarnation.

  6. Chris Jones

    April 10, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Loved it. I remember the game description differently…

    ‘It could be a very simple title like Eastenders, or it could be something very complicated, like ‘AAAAAIIIIEEEE! The squid! It no longer responds to mind control!’

    but sometimes Dan would just say ‘If you’ve never seen it before and want to know the rules….it’s Pictionary basically!’

    I also remember The Bake often saying before a commercial break that the adverts weren’t in fact on tape, but all the actors were in an ajoining studio (‘Oh yes, Captain Birdseye and co are just going through their lines next door…’)!

    And the £20 for guessing right was ‘Slapped and a-lashed’ on top of the money already won. But I’ll leave you with my favourite line from Danny:-

    ‘For those of you watching this on UK Gold in the year 2010; you see? I did have hair once!’

    I would love those repeats to happen.

  7. Richie

    April 10, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    If I’m not mistaken, I remember a very young Johnny Vegas on this as a contestant during the Bob Mills run. He introduced himself using his own name which I don’t remember, he said he had aspirations of being a comic…. where is he now I ask you??!!!!

  8. Andy Elms

    April 11, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    The Johnny “Michael, from St. Helens” Vegas clips can be found on youtube.

    Just out of interest, what is the reference to the none-more-comic “AAAAAIIIIEEEE! The squid! It no longer responds to mind control!” Sounds like an H. P. Lovecraft reference.

  9. MartS

    April 12, 2010 at 6:50 am

    And of course, lets not forget the description Danny gave the contestants trophy..

    “The Win Lose Or Draw gold brass style easlette mantlepiece adornment system”

  10. Chris Jones

    April 12, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    And the short lived WIn lose or Draw board game!

  11. Richard Shaw-Wright

    April 13, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    I tried to start Waistcoat Wednesday in my 6th Form years. Sadly this was 1997.

  12. gman

    April 17, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    The best Baker joke was, when referring to the waste of so much paper, that the paper was made from “Criminal trees that deserved to die!”
    But it made STV look a bit amateur when they ran out of “Win, Lose or Draw” cards and had to use the cards from the Gaelic version, “De Tha Seo”. In fact, the Bake even referred to it at one point.

  13. Nick Gates

    October 7, 2010 at 9:23 pm


    Every episode ever (I think), officially released by STV on YouTube:

  14. Nick Gates

    October 7, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Closer inspection, that’s all the networked ones, not the original Allan Stewart one. Still though, that’s about 150+ of drawing fun.

  15. Pearlyman

    October 8, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    Oh wow, I think that has just officially made my year.

  16. Kevin

    August 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Anyone who was unemployed in the early 1990s has this indelibly etched into their brain. If you thought ITV was going down-market then…

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