BEND AN EAR TO perhaps the most deceptive theme tune ever.
BEN BENISON, the mime artist who was succeeded in VISION ON by SYLVESTER McCOY, clears his throat by way of 13 quarter-hour...
"I NEVER seem to get it!"
SATIRE, EH, never as good as it blah blah blah.
Bumsqueaking sitcom starring JIM DAVIDSON as Jim London, a prejudiced Cockney waster of limited intelligence. Wonder how many others they approached?
ALL IS not going well at Wolverhampton electrical appliance factory Cockers Components Limited (spot the 1970s standard sitcom moniker-age).
INTERACTIVITY 80S-STYLE courtesy of JENNY POWELL, TONY DORTIE and ANTHEA TURNER
FREELOADING HACK JOHN ALDERTON makes his way around London society with the inevitable oooh, crikey-type situations
NEIL PEARSON is a hard-done-by down-on-his-luck recently-made-doleite guy musician guy stuck for something to do
THE IMPERIAL Leather of costume soap combining the best and worst of rich people and their servants with lots of dressing up
Annual resurrection round robin from His Holiness, piped live into living rooms at 11am sharp on Easter Day.
BLOCKBUSTING SCI-FI excursion rooted in "humaniods coming in peace - oh, no! They're lizardy Nazis with false eyes and protruding tongues and...
Genial, Irish besweatered rocking chair maestro fronted this never-changing pleaser from "the BBC Television Theatre" for pretty much a quarter of a...
SHORT-LIVED BLUE PETER spin-off
An absolute bag of wank.
BOTTOM HOLE arse-for-the-money drabcom.
THRILLING STUFF from the Hanna-Barbera stable, in the GODZILLA vein.
DUTCH POLICE inspector played by BARRY FOSTER in a coat, but no-one cared about that.
GIRLS, Guns ‘n Gambling-festooned great grandaddy of all those ‘maverick Private Eye with a snazzy car and Vietnam flashbacks’ imports, starring Robert...
EX-KENNY EVERETT Video Show dance troupe
UNIVERSITY OF Lowlands higher edutainment with PETER "COME ALONG, TEGAN" DAVIDSON
IN A brave attempt to push kids-costume-drama conventions to a dangerous extreme, this languid effort (based on book by Ray Brown) opted...
ATTENTUATED ATTEMPT to create a UK version of BIG JOHN LITTLE JOHN.
YOUNG BOY (yes, Vicky can be a boy's name too, like Lesley, or Stacy) warrior gains respect with his Norse chief dad...
TECHNOLOGY SHOW for kids who found MICRO LIVE and 4 COMPUTER BUFFS too stuffy
DREADFUL AMERICAN SHOW about what was "hot" and what was "not" on the international fashion runways.
ANOTHER AFTERNOON vehicle for the redoubtable FRED "GAMBIT" DINENAGE.
Dialogue-shunning artistic hotchpotch that took the most unpromising of briefs and created a nostalgia monolith.
LAST (OR rather, first) piece in the Allen TV jigsaw
RUBBISH PSEUDO-EDUCATIONAL time travellry with some fuckers called Phineas Bogg (ha!) and Jeffrey Jones
WELL-MEANING (OR not, depending on your allegiances) spin-off from top film Network, about a fictional TV station and all the bribery, baseness,...
INSUFFERABLE SCOUSE-BASED "adult" sitcom
NO FURTHER explanation needed, surely?
WHAT THE SIMPSONS once did for the Clinton decade, Wait Til Your Father Gets Home did for Nixon-era America.
ON SUNDAY Mornings, after TV-AM's eggcups faded into the ether, viewers in the London area were treated to this five minute oddity.
ONE OF the lamest ideas for a kids' show before Dick and Dom revived ASK THE FAMILY.
EARLY, UNDISTINGUISHED effort from Bill and Joe.
ONE OF those (now old chestnut) tales of a mentally handicapped kid experiencing the harsh realities of the world when his mum...
MICHAEL ASPEL announces the end of the world while a boy's face catches fire and a bloke's cabbages get squashed.
BRINY QUASI-SOAP set aboard pretend HMS Hero
MAMMOTH NIXON rehashing, with JASON ROBARDS as the crooked nutter Richard Monckton (names changed for legal purposes)
GENERAL STUDIES for kids.
PRE-DATING MONKEY, here came 108 plucky knights brought back from the dead to battle nastiness in the Orient
"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" quoth Jane of Malcolm's crappy card trick at the start of this minimal MARGARET DRABBLE adaptation.
JACK THOMPSON loafs around a depression-era shipping union as WARREN "GARNETT" MITCHELL invents satire in a tin-roofed music hall.
ANOTHER OF those PLANK-esque short Britcom films
FRENCH-DERIVED CARTOON about a bunch of greedy, untidy, irritable geese the Zwas
PE COMPETITION overseen by stern-but-fair RON PICKERING and the noisiest thing ever on children's television.
RANK SITCOMMAGE from across the pond.
GLORIA HUNNIFORD brings you this undemanding TV-based Friday at 8:30pm celebrity quiz show
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