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Such a little thing makes a big difference

Any excuse will do, it seems, for a media-led Smiths/Morrissey anniversary. At least Sean O’Hagan in yesterday’s Observer chose one that held a little substance than most: 25 years since the band formed. In contrast to his pick of ten definitive Smiths songs, here are ten of the most excruciatingly-named Morrissey songs:

1) King Leer
Deserving of extra special mention for its appalling opening verse:
Your boyfriend he
Went down on one knee
Well could it be
He’s only got one knee?

2) Lucky Lisp
Songs about speech impediments probably warrant somewhat more subtle titles.

3) Ouija Board, Ouija Board
So bad he named it twice.

4) Roy’s Keen
Later released on an EP with Ryan’s Gig and Nicky’s Butt.

5) Now I Am A Was

6) We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful
They assuredly feel the same, Moz.

7) You’re The One For Me, Fatty
Unbelievably released as a follow-up single to no 6).

8) The National Front Disco
See also Bengali In Platforms, Asian Rut, This Is Not Your Country…

9) Let The Right One Slip In

10) The Harsh Truth Of The Camera Eye
Crap in both name and substance:
This photographer,
he must have really had it in for yer.

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