TV Cream

Cream over Britain

Frostie reception

BBC4 is bringing back The Frost Report for a one-off special at Easter.

It’s one of those ideas that sounds great in theory, but in practice will turn out to the kind of programme you tune into more out of duty rather than interest or excitement. Especially as the line-up is all too easy to envisage:

– Frostie shuffling into the studio looking more haggard than ever, plopping into a chair and launching hesistantly into one of those awful ‘topical’ routines, e.g. “In America, the Democrats bury their differences and turn to the one candidate behind whom the whole of the country can unite” (cut to photo of Tony Blair)

– A sketch with the Archbishop of Canterbury doing a speech where he says there’s room in Britain for some of the aspects of Sod’s Law

– A historical spoof with Napolean, Alexander the Great and Stalin discussing whether or not there should be a referendum regarding the EU Treaty

– Yet another recreation of that “I look down on him” class sketch, this time starring Stephen Merchant, Robert Webb and Alan Carr

– Tim Brooke Taylor doing a musical pastiche called ‘Move Over, Darling’ about the woes of the current Chancellor of the Exchequer

– Ronnie Corbett “sharing some memories” with Frostie in front of a strangely muted studio audience

– A video message from a grumpy-looking John Cleese where he swears a lot and pretends to be really pissed off with the whole idea of The Frost Report having ever existed

– A topical calypso about Northern Rock

– A final monologue from Frostie wherein he observes that the Prime Minister is looking to liven up the performance of his government by an injection of new, up-and-coming talent (cut to photo of Gordon Brown standing in Downing Street with Mrs Thatcher)



  1. Fenicken Graceperish

    February 18, 2008 at 3:32 am

    Also: an inappropriate CGI logo in a similar but cheaper font with the cheery voiceover “You’re watching The Return Of The Frost Report! Still to come…” then a montage of clips from the programme you’re watching. Every seven minutes on the dot.

  2. Chris Hughes

    February 18, 2008 at 10:45 am

    That has to be the best publicity photo in TV history, though?

  3. Iain Grififths

    February 19, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Actually that sounds quite good , so whats the betting it will be?

  4. Ian Jones

    February 19, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    A late addition to the script: Instant Sunshine doing a topical song about nationalisation in the style of soft shoe shuffle.

    I’d watch.

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