Posts Tagged With 'Worker and Parasite cartoonery'

Vision On

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Dialogue-shunning artistic hotchpotch that took the most unpromising of briefs and created a nostalgia monolith. Commissioned by BBC children’s department head Ursula Eason to jazz up worthy but unremarkable longstanding monthly 15-minute magazine FOR DEAF CHILDREN, producer PATRICK DOWLING slung out the faintly patronising, “does he take sugar?” elements (lots of smiley slow talking to camera), gave presenter PAT KEYSELL a bigger role, and let the visuals do the talking. It wasn’t an overnight revolution, but after a couple of years on air, which saw the recruitment of lanky mime artist and all-round suspenders-wearing adrenaline factory BEN BENISON and laid back paint-and-pastel polymath TONY HART, the newly styled Vision On began to outstrip its meat-and-potatoes educational origins.

By 1970 the format, taking its cue in part from SESAME STREET, had evolved into the familiar loose assemblage of bits of film surrounded by studio business, which comprised a big Tone-based painting, a bit of mime with Benison and Keysell, a running gag (usually involving a contraption created by venerable straw boatered inventor and missing link between Vivian Stanshall and Mike Harding WILF LUNN running amok) and of course that non-returnable vibraphone tinged viewer showcase The Gallery. And, if all else failed, they could always bring on The Woofenpuss: a feather boa being pulled about the set on a string accompanied by a Swanee whistle, which Dowling borrowed from Charlie Cairoli and would recycle on his summer holiday suggestion box WHY DON’T YOU..?

If the studio business was merrily oddball, the film segments punched their way straight into the febrile junior subconscious. The jazzy montage of hand held 16mm abstract shots of buses and manhole covers was easy enough to swallow, and Tone’s alfresco attempts to paint a giant elephant with a football pitch line marker were positively therapeutic stuff, but after that the weirdness mounted. DAVID CLEVELAND’s maniacal Prof put the wind up a few infants when his undercranked demonstrations of bad science ended in stylised self-mutilation. But it was the plethora of cartoon shorts, coming from as near as David Sproxton and Peter Lord’s pre-Aardman set-up just down the road and as far as darkest Czechoslovakia, that played a game of Russian roulette with the vulnerable child’s mind.

Some of it was fine. Humphrey Umbrage, a photo-montage tortoise, served up pure whimsy, and The Burbles, chatty unseen creatures who initially dwelt within a grandfather clock but later moved into tins of paint, were guilty of nothing more mentally wrong-footing than the occasional puzzling half-joke. But what of the poor cubist-headed city gent who was forever harassed by a malevolent cuckoo clock with a penchant for shedding its numbers? Or the bizarre lightbulb-headed pipe cleaner duo Filopat and Patafil? All were soundtracked with some judiciously selected avant garde instrumental workouts, which if anything amplified the sense of inexplicable unease. (Even the off-kilter supper club stylings of Gallery theme Left Bank 2, which went on to become a ready-made signifier of retro-sophisticated tweeness to a generation who weren’t even born when Pat signed her last goodbye, was, in context, an aural incubator of mounting disquiet. Listen to it again, and note its woozy tendency to slip in and out of tune at random. Then imagine an endless row of macaroni acrobats and cotton wool sheep slowly gliding past. See what we mean?) Topping the nightmare stakes was Grogg, an ingenious frog-cum-bug made from the programme’s cursively written title reflected in a mirror, which provided older children with hours of frustration trying to replicate it on pencil cases, and their younger brethren with nights of sleepless horror in anticipation of it coming up the stairs to eat them. See, this is what happens when you unleash the imagination, you impetuous fools!

As the years wore on, Benison left to be replaced by SYLVESTER ‘Sylveste’ MCCOY, who couldn’t compete in the gangliness stakes but made up for it with a nice line in trouserless masochism. Twelve years and plenty of international televisual gongs later, Dowling sensed a format running out of fresh ideas, and canned the ‘On in favour of the marginally less bizarre and much less frenetic Tone showcase TAKE HART, which corrected Vision On’s one major flaw by allowing Tony some proper vocal contact with the viewer at home, thus tapping into a well of breezy avuncularity that would power the children’s department for a quarter of a century. Imperial phase ‘On director CLIVE DOIG, meanwhile, took McCoy and Lunn with him to the fresh pastures of JIGSAW, doing for words what Vision On had done for pictures. All fine stuff, but nothing, save perhaps the odd psychologically progressive schools maths programme, has since come near the levels of faintly sinister queasy confusion that Dowling and gang put out on a weekly basis for nigh on seven years. Please, don’t have Audrey the Dinosaur-shaped nightmares.

You might also want to see... Tony Hart 1925-2009.

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Disney Time

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STRICTLY RATIONED pre-home entertainment system helpings of Walt’s supposedly greatest hits, reserved initially for Christmas but later to become a schmaltzy schedule punctuation point at Easter and other holidays. Format never wavered. Miserly mouse uber-lord tosses the Beeb 40 minutes or so of gruel (two or three “much-loved” moments – a jungle creature singing jazz, Mary Poppins talking to a bird with grotesque over-sized human features – leavened with a load of rubbishy live action shit and stuff from The Aristocats) which are then linked by a celebrity from, depending on the economic climate of the time, the car park of Television Centre or sun-kissed Florida. Celeb would talk loyally of how they’d “always loved this sequence, where the dog and the cat kiss for the first time” and how we should “admire these fantastic real life shots of a snow leopard stalking its prey”. Somehow the trick worked and you felt privileged for getting served up tiny peeps inside Disney’s commonwealth of animi-nations instead of waiting for your local picture palace to put on a half-price half-term matinee.

But as the shows became more ubiquitous, so the quality threshold of celebrity dropped. The star-encrusted 70s had the likes of HARRY WORTH, PAUL and LINDA MCCARTNEY, Dr Who, BING CROSBY and THE GOODIES (from, er, Selfridges in London) doing the talky bits. DAVID JACOBS did a 50th birthday special in 1977. Then in 1979 the show broke free of its festive berth, with JOHN NOAKES hamming and hawing his way through Easter Disney Time and ISLA ST CLAIR fronting the liturgically-correct Whitsun Disney Time. As the recession bit, Hollywood was out and homespun faces were in: WINDSOR DAVIES, LENWORTH HENRY, CILLA and TARBY were conscripted for early 80s efforts, while PENELOPE KEITH did a special one for the wedding of Charles and Di.

Matters weren’t helped by the crappy stuff the studio was now charmlessly churning out, and by the end of the 80s things had slumped still further, with Sir Jim’ll and the BP team gamely introducing “highlights” from The Fox and the Hound and The Journey of Natty Gann. SARAH GREENE and PHILIP SCHOFIELD did their best when asked to front these slim pickings, but by now most of us could see that bit from Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo whenever we wanted and didn’t give a toss about waiting for the next bank holiday. The franchise limped on into the 90s as increasingly pre-packaged homogenised gunk, offering “tantalising” “glimpses” of Cool Runnings and D2: The Mighty Ducks. At some point ITV bought it off a ready-to-sell BBC, presumably just in the time for equally “tantalising” “glimpses” of D3: The Mighty Ducks. We’re not sure when the whole kaboodle ended for good and disappeared, literally, into The Black Hole.

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Bod

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 2 Comments »

Here comes...BALD-HEADED TYKE runs amok in triangle dress by terrorising neighbourhood with blank expression and whistling. Repeatedly. Originally involved just the eponymous kid mooching around an entirely blank environment and encountering the same characters over and over again, who’d enter to own DEREK GRIFFITHS-penned theme: Aunt Flo, PC Copper (“Po-po-po-pom pom pom!”), Frank the postman (“Doo, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-dooo!”) and Farmer Barleymow. Minimalist philosophising ensued (“They have their uses, gooses”). And that was it – until a few years later and proto-director’s cut version suddenly turned up added a whole new ending charting the utterly unrelated exploits of Alberto Frog and his Amazing Animal Band. Each week, the band would land up somewhere and utilize their musical skills to do some bloke or other a favour. Alberto a tight sod; when asked what whoever-it-was could do to repay him, he invariably chose…a milkshake. Every fucking time. Only the flavour varied, and then not by much. The rest of the band seemed nonplussed at getting bugger all for doing the real work. Just when it seemed the whole kaboodle was about to end…along came another bit! This involved a tedious game of “interactive” snap with Bod-themed cards. Would the thing never end? Answer: yes, with the titular bugalugs pissing off into the distance to a fine Griffiths piece of polyrhythmic swing (“There goes Bod…but he’ll be back!”).

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Penny Crayon

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PESTERING CBBC business, based on suggestion of GOING LIVE competition winner, who probably didn’t envisage their sterling work ending up being voiced by the horrendous SU POLLARD. Eponymous subject “drew” her way out of trouble.

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Balthazar

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 1 Comment »

CZECHOSLOVAKIAN CARTOON about a small, bearded scientist who solved various problems in the same, arbitrary fashion (see NOAH AND NELLY) i.e. by pacing up and down, then turning on a big, complicated machine which eventually produced a drop of green liquid which subsequently turned into just the right artefact to do the job! Tidy, at least.

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Capricorn Game

Posted in C is for... by TV Cream | 2 Comments »

OBSCURE-AS-EVER EDUCATIONAL shenanegains with cutout animation Mr. Capricorn directing a middle-aged live action couple around various provincial suburban locations in the name of basic mathematics. Had a magic umbrella. Was a clever fella. You can see the level we’re working at, here.

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Callimero

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MIDDLING-TO-MYOPIC CARTOON of curious origin starring a frustrated black chicken/duck who wore a piece of eggshell on its head. The tagline of every episode was “It’s an injustice, it is,” said in a high whiny voice. Dreadful.

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TTV

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T! T! V! Teatime Television! Crappy puppet cat SCRAG helmed a time-honoured “it’s our own television channel” type affair from some kind of backyard. Only two memorable aspects: 1) T!T!V! Quizzicals! which was basically a rip-off of the far superior Giddy Game Show and 2) Mr Hiccup, a terrible Czechoslovakian cartoon about a bloke who had, yup, hiccups. You could send off for a Scrag Tag, if you could be arsed. Fuck knows what it was.

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Top Hat Rabbits, The

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SHORT ANIMATED series of Czech extraction shown by the BBC depicting the adventures of two white rabbits named Bob and Bobby, often revolving around their disastrous attempts at taking on jobs more commonly associated with humans. Underpinned by an infuriating electric piano theme tune that repeated itself throughout the cartoon’s duration.

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Batfink

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 2 Comments »

TATTY-LOOKING CARTOON Batman spoofola which looked like it’d been drawn by a child, documenting evil-thwarting capers of bat thing and sidekick Karate against recurring comedy villain (with requisite mad-German-sounding voice) Hugo A-Go-Go. Deployed stock “freeze frame” cliffhanger trick to allow booming narrator to question viewers “Is this finally the end for our fearless foolproof crimefighters?” every bloody week. Ditto reminder of eponymous creature’s wings being “like a shield of steel”. Characters moved in jerky motion like they couldn’t afford to film it properly. Neat titles though, with BATFINK being spelt out in – gasp – bullets.

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Captain Pugwash

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BRACING BRINY cut-out chicanery with bloated, nasal, goateed Puggers leading his band of buffoonish piratical chums aboard the Black Pig and constantly finding no treasure. Remade in colour in the 70s, still using the same cardboard. Harmless tales unmarred by that shit playground rumour about characters called “Mr. Sperm”, which managed to fool no-one, except, inevitably, The Guardian Guide.

You might also want to see... John Ryan, RIP.

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CP and Qwikstitch

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RESOUNDINGLY HUMDRUM cartoon about two robots stuck on an asteroid and pissing each other off.

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Baldmoney, Sneezwort, Dodder and Cloudberry

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RUDIMENTARY ASSEMBLY of dull black and white line drawings detailing life of four garden gnomes. First three try to find the fourth, who has gone missing. They fail. As did the programme vis a vis living up to its title.

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Barbapapa

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 2 Comments »

SHIT CARTOON of Scandinavian origin concerning a sort of extended family of colourful, shapeshifting balloony blobs. The main two were Barbapapa and Barbamama, with various “character” parts (sporty Barba, sexy Barba) making up the numbers.

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Tomfoolery

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ONE OF those offbeat half-remembered cartoons produced by Rankin/Bass in conjunction with British cartoon studio Halas And Batchelo, the humour on the show centered around riddles, puns, and nonsensical jokes, with the titular Tom Foolery, a long-legged ball thing, a Yongy Bongy Bo, a chicken being hit by a jigsaw piece, all based around the poems of Edward Lear with characters such as Fastidious Fish and The Ubiquitous Umbrella Maker. “We’re putting on the nonsense, The funny stuff and nonsense, with riddles, jokes and silly things, it’s all Tomfoolery….”

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Mole, The

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STRIKINGLY BAFFLING East European export about a cartoon gibberish-spouting mole and his woodland friends, underthreat from city developers.

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Glen Michael’s Cavalcade

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CUT-PRICE CALEDONIAN distant forerunner of ROLF HARRIS CARTOON TIME, only without giant pieces of plain paper, fat marker pens and earnest insights into Disney studio wizardry. In fact, without everything. The titular Mr Michael, already well into his 60s, would appear in a cold bare studio to cue cartoons, only to then cut into animation and “appear” mid-frame to “warn” character of impending peril: “What’s that Daffy? Looks like trouble ahead!” Used to be called Glen Michael’s Cartoon Cavalcade until the money ran out and cartoons rationed to two per show, the rest of the time spent featuring write-in dedications boasting kids’ heads cut from photos and stuck onto amateurish cartoon characters. As seen on CBeebies. Just the other day. Glen resembled that funny uncle who was always really nice to you but your mum warned you about. Scope of ambition, and indeed budget, summed up by sidekick: an oil lamp (yes, really) called Paladin which had a “spooky” voice but which never moved or did anything – it was an oil lamp, after all.

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Mr Rossi

Posted in M is for... by TV Cream | 1 Comment »

NOT, FORTUITOUSLY, the animated escapades of a rock’n'roll three-chord-trading troubadour, but instead the line-drawn antics of a huge-nosed, tiny-hatted, both-eyes-on-the-same-side-of-the-head Italian, travelling through time aided by next door’s dog Harold and a “magic whistle” given to him by Fata, a godmother-figure representing Fairy Security, and her flying broom, Track.

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My World…and Welcome to it

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DROWSY DOMESTIC yankcom sitcom adapted from James Thurber cartoons/essays, starring WILLIAM WINDOM (also featured in that Chewits advert – “It’s eating everything in its path!”) as mild-mannered suburbanite whose fantasies came to life, warping dull reality through sketchy line drawings. Not bad, really. Resident of early Channel 4 schedules when Jeremy Isaacs realised the money had run out.

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Mighty Mouse

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MEANDERING MONOCHROME rodent roustabout gets updated 30 years later courtesy of RALPH “HEAVY TRAFFIC” BAKSHI injecting a) colour b) piss-taking c) in-jokes a-plenty. Over the heads of most, like the titular imp’s trajectories.

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