FOR NINE CHRISTMASES between 1974 and 1982, the All-Star spin-off from THE RECORD BREAKERS was the glittering festive showpiece of the BBC Children’s Programmes calendar, bringing together all your favourite presenters and, for no adequately explained reason, getting them to act, sing and dance about a bit.
Moreover, it was never exactly clear why Roy and Norris’s domino-toppling catalogue of pointless human endeavour had been selected as the canvas for this sparkling tableau. McWhirter’s patented stout-flogging brand of superlative trivia forever seemed to take a back seat to, say, JOHN CRAVEN exhibiting a nimble foxtrot or JONATHAN COHEN cutting loose with some free-form jazz piano.
Of course, the one thing that everybody remembers about TASRB is Roy Castle leading a mass tap-dancing world record (in aid of Action Research For The Crippled Child, lest we forget) in the middle of BBC Television Centre from 1977 (“Just outside with tapping feet! It’s the biggest dance troupe in the whole world, waiting for the beat!”), which of course we love cos you get to see loads of TV Cream’s favourite building in the world, in addition to a load of synchronised juvenile hoofing.
That 1977 show represented TASRB at its peak, kicking off with Roy attempting to sing Catch A Falling Star, only to be interrupted by his co-stars assailing him with facts about astronomy (“I say, Roy! Did you know…?”), a running joke involving JOHN NOAKES being pied at every opportunity, and KENNETH WILLIAMS demonstrating an oversized saxophone and attracting some knowing laughs from the orchestra with some ribald comments, in a scene once masterfully recreated in the TVC office (“Down here, Roy!”). Sadly, a flip through Ken’s diaries reveal he didn’t think much of the show (“I am virtually acting as a crowd artist in some scenes! And as set dressing in others! I’m not part of a team. I’m something better.”)
The other highlight of 1977′s show was the retelling of the Hans Christian Andersen story, with Roy in the lead role, natch, and Cheggers as his trusty apprentice. It’s always good to see NOEL EDMONDS in an acting capacity, and who knew PETER PURVES possessed such a pleasing tenor voice? Although there is a rather sickly soft-focus sequence with Roy attempting to woo Madame Dora, aka MAGGIE “AND I’M MAGGIE” HENDERSON.
Back in 1974…
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In 1975……the entertainment featured El Castillo tackling some record-breaking musical instruments (of course), including a giant-sized alphorn (of course) and the world’s smallest guitar. The grand finale consisted of a performance of Idle Jack, narrated by the Cribbins, with Roy in the lead role. The mighty DEREK “CHECK WHAT YOU’RE DRINKING!” GRIFFITHS performed Jake The Peg and Roy, Purves and SUSAN “GALORE” KING sang There’s A Hole In My Bucket, before Roy teamed up with record-chronicling zip-cardiganed reactionary twin boffins NORRIS and ROSS McWHIRTER to perform I Wish I Was A Cowboy. |
The 1976 extravaganza…
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In 1978…
There was also a performance from The All-Star Record Breakers steel band, with Purves, Cheggers and co clanging through a rough approximation of Air On A G String, then there was just enough time for Roy to trace his musical family tree (acting all the parts and playing 47 different instruments, obviously) before the grand finale, a lavish top-hatted performance of The Pickwick Papers (“a bit of a devil, a hell of a devil, on every level, and a bit of a character too! Ole!”). |
The following year’s show…
This year’s show also saw Roy drumming up all the fun of the fair, with the ‘Spanish Swap Shop Superstar Knife Throwers’ flinging deadly blades at a hapless NOEL EDMONDS. Not that anyone could blame them. The not-quite dream team of SIMON “MY FAMILY’S FARM IN DETHICK” GROOM, CHRISTOPHER “COLOUR SEP… SEPAR… SEPERATION” WENNER and Heath sang Together while dressed as gnomes in a ‘Gnome Watch’ sketch, and the whole thing ended, for some reason, in a Wild West shoot-out, with the whole cast thrown behind bars and singing Jailhouse Rock. |
In 1980……Radio Times announced that “down on the farm, Roy holds a Record-Breaking party where cows and vegetables dance, Laurel and Hardy make a comeback and guests are transported to outer space!” We vividly recall the dancing vegetables bit, cos it was SI, SAZ and PETE off of Blue Peter dressed up as carrots and parsnips. John Craven’s Back Pages proffered more information, revealing that “choreographer SALLY GILPIN works out some very smart routines that make people like me, with two left feet, look passably good” and “producer ALAN RUSSELL has asked for at least six grand pianos and an electronic space game. Apparently we’ve got to dodge the lasers!” Of course, when Roy wasn’t playing 17 different instruments and breaking the inter-planetary tap-dancing record at the same time, he was demonstrating the other element of his showbiz skillset, namely his Stan Laurel impression, delivered in concert this year with a bowler-hatted STUART “HOT MUM” McGUGAN essaying the old fingering-tie-impatiently bit as Oliver Hardy. Mm-mmm! The end of the show saw Sarah Greene being presented with a king-sized bar of chocolate to flog for the Blue Peter appeal. The choc was auctioned live on New Year’s Day, attracting a winning bid of £37,000, which turned out to be a hoax (no Caribbean holiday for Joey Deacon and pals, alas) and on the next edition, the ‘Peter team had to admit that they’d been diddled. Cue a stiff letter to the Leicester Mercury. |
On to 1981…
The show even included a fantastic BBC Children’s crossover, with TONY “BUT THERE IS A PRIZE” HART popping in from his Take Hart studio “above” Record Breakers HQ to complain about the noise, prompting MARK “BRA-ZIL!” CURRY to assuage the cravatted Caravaggio with a rendition of Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs. |
And so to 1982…
The highlight of the show was the Examinations Rag, a musical number set in the corridors and classrooms of Grange Hill, featuring a one-time-only General Collapse of Secondary Education face-off between “teacher” JOHNNY “AND HIS NAME WAS… GALILEO!” BALL and MARK “GRIPPAAAAHH!” SAVAGE. Being 1982, there was a nod to Blue Peter’s latest obsession, with a musical medley set on the Mary Rose. And there was always the enticing prospect of seeing DAVID ICKE in a light entertainment context. But as Gripper cycled off on his Crump’s The Butchers bike, The All-Star Record Breakers ended just as it had begun (and, more or less, carried on), with ROY CASTLE playing a load of musical instruments, this time a bass, drums, flute, trombone and trumpet. Now that’s dedication. |
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