CONVOLUTED CRAPOLA cartoonery designed to cash in on top early eighties “quiet” children’s pursuit. Selection of dreary yank kids go on a “magical roller coaster ride” and end up in fantasy (read – dull, cliche-ridden) land of orcs, goblins and “Venger – the force of evil.” Step up “Ranger” (blond twatty leader, real name Hank); “Cavalier” (wanky “coward” bloke, called Eric); “Presto” (comedy nerd magician, name “Magician”); “Bobby” (hateful child with club, aka “Barbarian”); “Acrobat” (or Diane, token black woman) plus miniature unicorn for “I’m going back to save him!” factor. There was another lady, Sheila, who was Bobby’s big sister. She could turn invisible by pulling the hood of her cloak over her head; her handle was “Thief”, Midget Dungeon Master was the gnomic overseer. Five minutes in, all children in the country were registered “outdoors”.Read More
Posts Tagged With 'Objectionable American tykes'
OVERLIT OVERLOUD American kidaventures starring five urban under-12s who separated out into the usual archetypes: leader, troublemaker, brainiac, token girl, token little kid who can’t yet stand up on a skateboard. Took it upon themselves to solve local mysteries and minor criminal goings-on in their “neighbourhood”. Leaping up into the air for title sequence freeze-frame frenzy: J.R. MILLER (as J.R. – note to casting director: must try harder), JOLIE NEWMAN (Joanne – hmm, sounds a bit like Jolie to us), MATTHEW LABORTEAUX (Frankie – that’s better), JOHN BROGNA (Li’l Bill) and the absurd JAMES BOND III (Doc).Read More