Posts Tagged With 'Marital disharmony over a red-and-white chequered tablecloth'

Butterflies

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 8 Comments »

Wendy and co prepare to tuck into another course of comically distasteful middle class guilt and gainsayingTHE PHRASE “BITTERSWEET COMEDY” used to turn up in listings mags and continuity announcements with alarming regularity, usually accompanied by a presidential motorcade of bad vibes. It’s one of those phrases where two words are unceremoniously lumped together, cancelling each other out completely in the process, like coupling “meal” with “deal”, or “special” with “bus service”. Any billings in Radio Times commencing with an excitable “8.30 NEW SERIES” had only to be scanned for the presence of such words as “housewife”, “solicitor”, “separated”, “single”, “Home Counties”, or the dread phrases “making a fresh start” and “coming to terms with”, for the reader’s ears to instinctively tune to the seductive call of DUTY FREE on the other side.

BUTTERFLIES was the exception that proved the chintzy home rule. WENDY CRAIG was the stockbroker belt everywoman Ria, failing to cook, failing to laugh, and failing to drop it all and have an affair with semi-loveable rogue BRUCE MONTAGUE despite regular abortive trysts in the park (chauffeured by the inimitable MICHAEL RIPPER). Failing to care, or indeed notice, were sarky teenage sons NICHOLAS LYNDHURST and ANDREW HALL, and eternally oblivious dentist hubby GEOFFREY PALMER, an amateur lepidopterist (hence the title) operating a permanent system of emotional half-day closing.

High octane wisecracks there were not, and for that reason the show has been ill served by the clip-show junta, reduced to ten seconds of pimply youths in camo jackets sniggering at blackened saucepans. But those round-table rounds of mirthless intergenerational banter were exceedingly well judged: a stream of underpowered snipes uttered at the far wall in lieu of proper conversation, perfectly capturing the communicative no-man’s land of familial last orders. This was something new and perceptive. (By the time MY FAMILY latched on to it, it had long become something old and bollocks.)

No subsequent sitcom introduced as “bittersweet” by the gentle-voiced man with the big blue globe for a head came close, and that goes double for anything else writer CARLA LANE came up with, which all falls neatly into two categories: volume knob-cracking regional stereotypes on benefits, and the stuff that lies at the very bottom of the bittersweet cracker barrel, wherein Felicity Kendall mopes wistfully around Hyde Park at sunset for all eternity.

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Coronation Street

Posted in C is for... by TV Cream | 4 Comments »

FROM AN IDEA BY Tony Warren. And what an idea: backstreet Shakespeare with brown ale; a cobblestoned Greek tragedy in curlers. Despite the fact that they’re hymned to the heavens by Parkinson and Hattersley, those early shaky, grimy episodes remain the benchmark for earthy popular drama, crushing the likes of COMPACT and THE NEWCOMERS under the heel of Elsie Tanner’s stiletto. They had everything and the kitchen sink: not least a gallery of recognisable yet larger-than-life characters: regal pub matriarch Annie Walker, hairnetted harridan Ena Sharples, the jaded sexpot Elsie Tanner, the slightly menacing roguishness of Len Fairclough and the tedious, bookish, middlebrow Guardianista Ken Barlow, who’s been there ever since. Into the seventies, the emphasis on wayward youth was taken up a notch, with more emphasis on the likes of loveable Scouse petty crim and hare-brained scheme merchant Eddie Yeats and saucy peroxided “good time girl” Suzie Birchall to offset the pensionable perfidiousness of Fred Gee. Further up the family tree there was Hilda Ogden (complete with ludicrous prole-taste “muriel”, obtained from dubious sources by one E. Yeats), gaudy pub siren Bet Lynch and slippery cigar-toting rag trade wideboy Mike Baldwin stepping into a frequently genuinely dramatic world – the lorry smashing into the Rovers Return, and Deirdre’s search for her baby in the rubble; the gunpoint murder of Ernie Bishop and the car-smash death of Alf Roberts’ wife Renee. As the eighties wore on, Eddie copped off via a CB radio to humorous effect, many of the Street’s mainstays took their final bows, and the Newton and Ridley brew was watered down, with more episodes and more tedious longeurs (the courtship of Derek and Mavis for instance) breaking up the drama, such as the Ken-Deirdre-Mike love triangle: “Ken’s a good man, he deserves better”, proffered no less an authority than John Betjeman.

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Rings on Their Fingers

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"Just a little dab here - that should hold this week's plot together, love!"DIANE KEEN and MARTIN JARVIS are a clean-cut coupla young aw-gee-shucks-now lovebirds for whom nuptials are on the cards – “along with some unexpected hiccups – and lots of laughs!” BARBARA LOTT, JOHN HARVEY, MARGARET COURTENAY and KEITH MARSH are the respective parents.

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Bless This House

Posted in B is for... by TV Cream | 5 Comments »

"What - is - wrong - with - you, woman!!!"WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE if you had Sid James as your dad, i.e. ace. Episode would begin with Sid, playing character called Sid (naturally), perusing the paper for the racing odds and end with him caught in an unflattering position/sporting a piece of inappropriate clothing/caught in an unflattering position while sporting a piece of inappropriate clothing. Inbetween: wife Jean moans about Sid forgetting to put the potatoes on; son Mike dresses like a hippy; daughter Sally implies she was off to have sex; Sid slurps scotch; Sid claps hand to forehead; Sid leers over passing crumpet; Sid laughs. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you silly woman!”

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Nearest and Dearest

Posted in N is for... by TV Cream | 1 Comment »
The most frightening publicity still ever produced from Quay Street Jimmy and Hylda get upstaged by a bit of cardboard

GRANADA’S BIGGEST-SELLING situation comedy. Eli Pledge (JIMMY JEWELL) and Nellie Pledge (HYLDA BAKER) are feuding siblings who have inherited a pickle factory and a workforce which appears to have escaped from a genetic experiment: all old, bent, shortsighted, deformed, scruffy and looking like pre-1914 factory fodder. Nellie was all malapropisms, methodist propiety and teetotal. Eli was all beer, fags, gambling and improbably copping off with girls a quarter of his age. Lancashire setting milked for all it was worth, with the house they lived in looked, to the teak-veneer-contiboard-and-G-Plan 1970s, old and Victorian and dark and damp and smelly. Nellie’s catchphrases: “big girl’s blouse”, “Defective Inspector”, “he knows, you know” “it’s quarter-past – oh I must get a little hand put on this watch” and the eternal “Have you been, Walter?” (to doddering octogenarian husband of Madge Hindle, aka Alf Roberts’ wife-before-last in Corrie). Eli’s catchphrase was “You knock-kneed knackered old nosebag”.

You might also want to see... Not On Your Nellie!.

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Pennies From Heaven

Posted in P is for... by TV Cream | 3 Comments »

National Service neuroses you can dance toPSYCHOLOGICAL HOT shoe shuffle from the predictably barbed pen of DENNIS POTTER, here funnelling his usual concerns (treacherous husbands, put-upon wives, over-made-up prostitutes) into the life of BOB HOSKINS, a cardboad-suited 1930s sheet music salesman prone to breaking into other people’s songs at convenient plot points. GEMMA CRAVEN was his missus having to put up with Bob’s penchant for a quick Charleston while she was trying to do the pots. CHERYL CAMPBELL was the bit on the side that almost brought the entire edifice tumbling down, while KENNETH COLLEY turned up from time to time as the Accordion Man, a convoluted concoction that wasn’t real but thought he was but actually wasn’t. Or something. Actually one of Potter’s best efforts, though that’s largely by virtue of most of the rest of his work being crap.

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Play for Today

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EVERYTHING AND the kitchen sink.

Click here for your actual episodes of front room angst.

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Cuckoo Waltz, The

Posted in C is for... by TV Cream | 1 Comment »

DAVID ROPER is betrohed to DIANE KEEN but shares a house with LEWIS COLLINS. Three’s-a-crowd thrills occasionally ensue.

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Thick as Thieves

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SHABBY SITCOM made during the Three Day Week, and it showed. Clement and La Frenais were on script duties, desperately baling “com” into a sit involving BOB HOSKINS as a small time crook who comes out of prison to find his best mate JOHN THAW shacked up with his missus. Except instead of getting the red mist and giving him a kicking HOSKINS moves in with them and tries to “make” the “best” of it. Was to have run for longer, with both stars finding themselves back inside for a dose of, ahem, Porridge. Except Thaw signed to do THE SWEENEY, and a few weeks later RONNIE BARKER donned the overalls.

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